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The Top 10 Things Overheard at Burning Man | "I can't find my husband! He was standing right here on stilts, with a pink mohawk and covered in feathers. Then he just vanished into the crowd." "Does this Elvis Thong make my sandblasted ass look fat?" "Yes, but it's a debilitating heat." "This chick in the Orgy Dome asked me to choke her, but the dust beat me to it." "My dude, you're in the medical tent because Red Bull doesn't ACTUALLY give you wings." "Wait a sec: NO ONE HERE HAS ANY SUNSCREEN?!" "This isn't a dust storm! This is the desert telling us to shut up and go home." "It contains only four ingredients: habaneros, ghost peppers, scorpion peppers, and Carolina reapers. Hence the name: Burning Man Smoothie." "I would, but our piercings might lock up." "I didn't want to spend $3,000 on a ticket, but how else can I prove I don't believe in money?"

The Top 10 Things Overheard at Burning Man | Selected from 51 submissions sent in by 20 contributors. Writer credits: "I can't find my husband! He was standing right here on stilts, with a pink mohawk and covered in feathers. Then he just vanished into the crowd." (Richard Koppinger, Hamilton, NJ) "Does this Elvis Thong make my sandblasted ass look fat?" (Fred Tingler, Melissa, TX) "Yes, but it's a debilitating heat." (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA) "This chick in the Orgy Dome asked me to choke her, but the dust beat me to it." (Brandon Eldridge, Marine, IL) "My dude, you're in the medical tent because Red Bull doesn't ACTUALLY give you wings." (Richard Koppinger, Hamilton, NJ) "Wait a sec: NO ONE HERE HAS ANY SUNSCREEN?!" (Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA) "This isn't a dust storm! This is the desert telling us to shut up and go home." (LD Petterson, College Park, MD) "It contains only four ingredients: habaneros, ghost peppers, scorpion peppers, and Carolina reapers. Hence the name: Burning Man Smoothie." (Chris White, Olympia, WA) "I would, but our piercings might lock up." (Bill Muse, Seattle, WA) "I didn't want to spend $3,000 on a ticket, but how else can I prove I don't believe in money?" (LeMel Williams, Oakland, CA)

Top5 for 8/27/25

Chris White

Aug 27, 2025

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