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The Top 10 Signs You're at a Fake Zoo | In the 4 years you've been visiting, that giant turtle hasn't moved an inch. The Vampire Bat display is in total darkness "to protect our esteemed guests." Horizontal zebra stripes Their big "The Last Living Unicorn" exhibit is just a Shetland pony with an inverted waffle cone on its forehead. Although the management insists they're just camouflaging, the chameleon cage is definitely empty. The primate exhibit is just a full-length mirror. The rhino exhibit contains only a Republican legislator who votes with Democrats. You're impressed by the dank verisimilitude of the rainforest habitat until you realize you're in the staff restroom. Their lone "gray monkey" is Mickey Dolenz. These are NOT the beavers you and the kids were expecting to see.

Signs You're at a Fake Zoo | Selected from 80 submissions sent in by 27 contributors. Credits: In the 4 years you've been visiting, that giant turtle hasn't moved an inch. (Chuck Salerno, Merrimack, NH) (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX) (Larry Hollister, Concord, CA) The Vampire Bat display is in total darkness "to protect our esteemed guests." (Nathan C. Sherman, Bellevue, WA) Horizontal zebra stripes (Bill Muse, Seattle, WA) Their big "The Last Living Unicorn" exhibit is just a Shetland pony with an inverted waffle cone on its forehead. (Chris White, Olympia, WA) Although the management insists they're just camouflaging, the chameleon cage is definitely empty. (Elliott Schiff, Allentown, PA) The primate exhibit is just a full-length mirror. (Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA) (Kim Moser, New York, NY) The rhino exhibit contains only a Republican legislator who votes with Democrats. (David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO) You're impressed by the dank verisimilitude of the rainforest habitat until you realize you're in the staff restroom. (Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA) Their lone "gray monkey" is Mickey Dolenz. (Rex Meredith, Chico, CA) These are NOT the beavers you and the kids were expecting to see. (Brad Hamer, Austin, TX)

Top5 for 9/25/24

Chris White

Sep 25, 2024

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