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The Top 10 Ways We'd Spend Our Lottery Winnings | Buy one of everything at Wal-Mart, then return it all the next day. Wear so much bling I'd make vintage Mr T look Amish. Finally buy that custom-made love doll of Velma from Scooby-Doo. LaCroix moat around a classy double-wide. "Hello, boss? I won't be coming to work today because I bought the company and you're fired. And I paid your wife to be in my bed right now. Also, fuck off and die." Two dozen eggs You get new boobs! And you get new boobs! Everybody gets new boobs! Buy a Senator... or maybe the Senate. Buy the Buffalo Bills, then sign only players named Bill. 289,581,770 Big Macs and a Diet Coke

The Top 10 Ways We'd Spend Our Lottery Winnings | Selected from 67 submissions sent in by 23 contributors. Writer credits: Buy one of everything at Wal-Mart, then return it all the next day. (Elliott Schiff, Allentown, PA) Wear so much bling I'd make vintage Mr T look Amish. (Carl Knorr, Schaumburg, IL) Finally buy that custom-made love doll of Velma from Scooby-Doo. (Richard Koppinger, Hamilton, NJ) LaCroix moat around a classy double-wide. (Brandon Eldridge, Marine, IL) "Hello, boss? I won't be coming to work today because I bought the company and you're fired. Also, fuck off and die." (Chris White, Olympia, WA) Two dozen eggs (Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL) You get new boobs! And you get new boobs! Everybody gets new boobs! (Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL) Buy a Senator... or maybe the Senate. (Kevin Freels, Sparks, NV | David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO) Buy the Buffalo Bills, then sign only players named Bill. (Bill Muse, Seattle, WA) 289,581,770 Big Macs and a Diet Coke (Jeffrey Anbinder, Brooklyn, NY)

Top5 for 9/10/25

Chris White

Sep 10, 2025

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