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The Top 10 Things You Don't Want to Hear at Summer Camp | "Oh yeah, sorry about that. I was afraid to walk to the outhouse last night, so I peed in your canteen." "I was told we'd be visiting a farm, not picking fruit for 13 hours." "Trust me, guys, I've started hundreds of fires." "I hear the camp counselors are being replaced by the National Guard until we shape up." "Please report any heatstroke symptoms to the wellness influencer." "No volleyballs, but we've got a ton of wrenches." "As long as you don't make eye contact with the clown in the woods, he'll leave you be." "Here at Camp Vegan, we call them S'Lesses." "If you'd like to hear a ghost story, you'll need to book the campfire experience through our priority booking portal." "This is Ms. Maxwell, everyone. She's here on a work-release program, and she loves working with kids."

The Top 10 Things You Don't Want to Hear at Summer Camp | Selected from 70 submissions sent in by 25 contributors. "Oh yeah, sorry about that. I was afraid to walk to the outhouse last night, so I peed in your canteen." (David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO) "I was told we'd be visiting a farm, not picking fruit for 13 hours." (Richard Koppinger, Hamilton, NJ) "Trust me, guys, I've started hundreds of fires." (Chris White, Olympia, WA) "I hear the camp counselors are being replaced by the National Guard until we shape up." (Dave Wesley, Sacramento, CA) "Please report any heatstroke symptoms to the wellness influencer." (LeMel Williams, Oakland, CA) "No volleyballs, but we've got a ton of wrenches." (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA) "As long as you don't make eye contact with the clown in the woods, he'll leave you be." (Brandon Eldridge, Marine, IL) "Here at Camp Vegan, we call them S'Lesses." (Bill Muse, Seattle, WA) "If you'd like to hear a ghost story, you'll need to book the campfire experience through our priority booking portal." (LeMel Williams, Oakland, CA) "This is Ms. Maxwell, everyone. She's here on a work-release program, and she loves working with kids." (Brad Wilkerson, Mesa, AZ | Kevin Freels, Sparks, NV | Mike Whitmire, Houston, TX | Kim Moser, New York, NY | Richard Koppinger, Hamilton, NJ)

Top5 for 8/13/25

Chris White

Aug 13, 2025

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