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The Top 10 Surprises in the Pentagon's UFO Files | Acid rain? Just alien craft dumping their bathroom refuse tanks. The being we know as "Mark Zuckerberg" was voted off his home planet. "Probing" is actually their version of pegging. Crop circles are actually scathing Yelp reviews of our planet. Some excellent budget-friendly recipes! To them, a fun-filled game of "pull my finger" is considered an act of war. Elon Musk? Surprisingly NOT an alien, just a useful fool. They only started stealing cattle after a long, confusing conversation with Mr. Ed. Galactic Commander Zorg's name sure does appear in the Epstein files a lot. The President only found them "interesting" because Stephen Miller did silly voices while reading them aloud at bedtime.

The Top 10 Surprises in the Pentagon's UFO Files | Selected from submissions sent in by contributors. Acid rain? Just alien craft dumping their bathroom refuse tanks. (David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA | Tim H. Richweis, New Haven, CT) The being we know as "Mark Zuckerberg" was voted off his home planet. (Bill Muse, Seattle, WA) "Probing" is actually their version of pegging. (Chris White, Olympia, WA) Crop circles are actually scathing Yelp reviews of our planet. (Brandon Eldridge, Marine, IL) Some excellent budget-friendly recipes! (Bill Muse, Seattle, WA) To them, a fun-filled game of "pull my finger" is considered an act of war. (Rex Meredith, Missouri City, TX) Elon Musk? Surprisingly NOT an alien, just a useful fool. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA) They only started stealing cattle after a long, confusing conversation with Mr. Ed. (Sue Prifogle, Rushville, IN) Galactic Commander Zorg's name sure does appear in the Epstein files a lot. (Jeffrey Anbinder, Brooklyn, NY) The President only found them "interesting" because Stephen Miller did silly voices while reading them aloud at bedtime. (Kevin Paul Wickart, Normal, IL)

Top5 for 5/6/26

Surprises in the Pentagon's UFO Files

Chris White

May 6, 2026

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