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The Top 10 Signs a College Grad Isn't Ready for the Real World | They're still looking for an employer who cares about their work-life balance and professional growth. Asks the traffic court judge for partial credit since he obeyed SOME of the laws. His average Blood Alcohol Content is higher than his GPA. "Skills? I've got ChatGPT, bitch!" "No, Ms. Smith, you cannot 'make up' last month's sales analysis 'next semester.'" When his frat brothers couldn't find a Sharpie, they tattooed a giant penis on his forehead. Her five-year career plan begins with "Go viral somehow." Four years of anti-capitalist theory undone by one decent retirement calculator. Trump University's mentorship program under Kash Patel isn't the same as law school, son. His career plans pretty much center around his borrowing the car keys for the next 17 years.

The Top 10 Signs a College Grad Isn't Ready for the Real World | Selected from 61 submissions sent in by 24 contributors. They're still looking for an employer who cares about their work-life balance and professional growth. (Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL) Asks the traffic court judge for partial credit since he obeyed SOME of the laws. (Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA) His average Blood Alcohol Content is higher than his GPA. (Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH) "Skills? I've got ChatGPT, bitch!" (Kim Moser, New York, NY) "No, Ms. Smith, you cannot 'make up' last month's sales analysis 'next semester.'" (Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL) When his frat brothers couldn't find a Sharpie, they tattooed a giant penis on his forehead. (LD Petterson, College Park, MD | Mike Ranston, Scottsdale, AZ) Her five-year career plan begins with "Go viral somehow." (Brandon Eldridge, Marine, IL) Four years of anti-capitalist theory undone by one decent retirement calculator. (LeMel Williams, Oakland, CA) Trump University's mentorship program under Kash Patel isn't the same as law school, son. (Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA) His career plans pretty much center around his borrowing the car keys for the next 17 years. (Kevin Freels, Sparks, NV)

Top5 for 5/20/26

Signs a College Grad Isn't Ready for the Real World

Chris White

May 20, 2026

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