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Little-Known Features of Tesla's Cybertruck | Navigation pre-loaded with Incels Anonymous locations. Body panels are each at an angle that serves to deflect positive comments. Beeps both in reverse and going forward. The Auto Douche mode saves you time by parking itself in two spots. Sunroof peels back with a pull, just like a cat-food can. Center console storage includes lotion and tissues. Instead of a stick-figure family window decal, it has two robots, three fax machines and a toaster. Self-Preservation Mode prevents it from driving into truck stops. Catch a bolt of lighting as you hit 88 mph and it sends you Back to the Dealer. Can haul 1000-pound payloads, not including the weight of your shame.

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Little-Known Features of Tesla's Cybertruck | Selected from 77 submissions sent in by 29 contributors. Credits: Navigation pre-loaded with Incels Anonymous locations. (Chris White, Olympia, WA) Body panels are each at an angle that serves to deflect positive comments. (Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA) Beeps both in reverse and going forward. (Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA) The Auto Douche mode saves you time by parking itself in two spots. (Danny Gallgher, Dallas, TX) Sunroof peels back with a pull, just like a cat-food can. (Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL) Center console storage includes lotion and tissues. (Chris White, Olympia, WA) Instead of a stick-figure family window decal, it has two robots, three fax machines and a toaster. (Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL) Self-Preservation Mode prevents it from driving into truck stops. (Bill Muse, Seattle, WA) Catch a bolt of lighting as you hit 88 mph and it sends you Back to the Dealer. (Nathan C. Sherman, Bellevue, WA) Can haul 1000-pound payloads, not including the weight of your shame. (Carl Knorr, Schaumburg, IL)

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Chris White

May 1, 2024

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