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The Top 10 Signs Your Conspiracy Theory Might Be a Little Off  |   You can't seem to explain why these "robot birds" keep pooping on your car. 	(Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY  |  Mike Ranston, Scottsdale, AZ)  "The FDA doesn't want you to know that a hot dog is really a sandwich!" 	(Danny Gallagher, Dallas, TX)  "Not only that, but they also faked Michael Jackson's moonwalk." 	(Chris White, Olympia, WA)  Your particular "single shooter theory" argues that only one person has ever fired a gun. 	(Reid Kerr, Sugartit, KY)  The evidence would require 4,000 people to keep a secret, but your cousin Dave pieced it together with Reddit posts and YouTube videos. 	(Brandon Eldridge, Marine, IL)  Chipotle farts do not count as "chem trails." 	(Carl Knorr, Schaumburg, IL)  "Absolutely true! The Earth is flat, but it's projected onto a sphere to make people think it's round." 	(Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL)  The theorist has been employee of the month 3 times at the Department of Heath and Human Services. 	(Dave Wesley, Sacramento, CA)  "It doesn't make any sense. Who needs that 400 million bucks' worth of room for their balls?!" 	(David Kass, Brooklyn, NY)  Your so-called "sentient hair" theory sure does require a lot of Amway purchases. 	(LeMel Williams, Oakland, CA)

The Top 10 Signs Your Conspiracy Theory Might Be a Little Off  |  Selected from 59 submissions sent in by 23 contributors.  You can't seem to explain why these "robot birds" keep pooping on your car. 	(Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY  |  Mike Ranston, Scottsdale, AZ)  "The FDA doesn't want you to know that a hot dog is really a sandwich!" 	(Danny Gallagher, Dallas, TX)  "Not only that, but they also faked Michael Jackson's moonwalk." 	(Chris White, Olympia, WA)  Your particular "single shooter theory" argues that only one person has ever fired a gun. 	(Reid Kerr, Sugartit, KY)  The evidence would require 4,000 people to keep a secret, but your cousin Dave pieced it together with Reddit posts and YouTube videos. 	(Brandon Eldridge, Marine, IL)  Chipotle farts do not count as "chem trails." 	(Carl Knorr, Schaumburg, IL)  "Absolutely true! The Earth is flat, but it's projected onto a sphere to make people think it's round." 	(Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL)  The theorist has been employee of the month 3 times at the Department of Heath and Human Services. 	(Dave Wesley, Sacramento, CA)  "It doesn't make any sense. Who needs that 400 million bucks' worth of room for their balls?!" 	(David Kass, Brooklyn, NY)  Your so-called "sentient hair" theory sure does require a lot of Amway purchases. 	(LeMel Williams, Oakland, CA)

Top5 for 4/29/26

Signs Your Conspiracy Theory Might Be a Little Off

Chris White

Chris White

Apr 29, 2026
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