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NEWS: This year's commencement address at the University of Maryland will be given by Kermit the Frog. Here are the Top 11 Quotes From Kermit the Frog's Commencement Address | "Due to new guidelines from the White House, I am no longer allowed to sing 'It Ain’t Easy Being Green,' as it calls attention to a color other than white." "Never be afraid to stick up for yourself and say: 'Waiter! There are no flies in my soup!'" "Then you take your Amway earnings and invest 100% of them in my new FrogCoin digital currency." "Though I started from humble beginnings, I encourage you continue striving. Like me, you too may one day be Ambassador to Greenland." "And always remember: A rainbow connection is better than the connection you'll get with T-Mobile." "You know what's harder than being green? Getting a job in this fakakta economy!" "I *would* advise you to stay away from drugs, but the fact that you're looking for wisdom from a talking amphibian made out of FELT screams that we're way past that." "First let me say, 'Free Palestine.' Wait! Who cut my mike? Unhand me at once!" "Graduates you have become, yet employment I sense not in your future. Oops! The wrong voice actor it appears they have hired!" "I'm not ashamed to admit that everything changed for me the day my friend Jim first put his fist up my backside."

The Top 11 Quotes From Kermit the Frog's Commencement Address | Selected from 53 submissions sent in by 18 contributors. Writer credits: "Due to new guidelines from the White House, I am no longer allowed to sing 'It Ain’t Easy Being Green,' as it calls attention to a color other than white." (Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL) "Never be afraid to stick up for yourself and say: 'Waiter! There are no flies in my soup!'" (Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH) "Then you take your Amway earnings and invest 100% of them in my new FrogCoin digital currency." (Mike Ranston, Scottsdale, AZ | Vic Vitek, Tamworth, NH) "Though I started from humble beginnings, I encourage you continue striving. Like me, you too may one day be Ambassador to Greenland." (Dave Wesley, Sacramento, CA) "And always remember: A rainbow connection is better than the connection you'll get with T-Mobile." (Rex Meredith, Chico, CA) "You know what's harder than being green? Getting a job in this fakakta economy!" (Kim Moser, New York, NY) "I *would* advise you to stay away from drugs, but the fact that you're looking for wisdom from a talking amphibian made out of FELT screams that we're way past that." (Carl Knorr, Schaumburg, IL) "First let me say, 'Free Palestine.' Wait! Who cut my mike? Unhand me at once!" (Dave Wesley, Sacramento, CA) "Graduates you have become, yet employment I sense not in your future. Oops! The wrong voice actor it appears they have hired!" (Brandon Eldridge, Marine, IL | Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA) "I'm not ashamed to admit that everything changed for me the day my friend Jim first put his fist up my backside." (Mike Whitmire, Houston, TX)

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Chris White

Apr 2, 2025

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