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Surprises in the State of the Union Address | This time, chamber seating was divided into "Indicted" and "Non-Indicted" sections. Supreme Court justices will now be required to wear their corporate sponsors’ logos on their robes, NASCAR-style "C'mon, man, the federal deficit isn't so bad when you measure it in Bitcoins!" Prez promoted his new sneakers: Air Bidens. "Not for use on stairs." After Biden discussed current military conflict, border tension, and internal partisan strife, he brought up Billy Joel to debut three new verses of We Didn't Start the Fire. Outbursts at a minimum now that each usher is equipped with a seltzer bottle. Granted Melania Trump a pardon from her marriage vows. "My guest tonight, Maury Povich, brought DNA test results that conclusively prove that Hunter is NOT my son." Out: Malarkey. In: Flibbertigibbit. Instead of finishing with "God bless the United States of America," it's "Gotta go, Matlock's on!"

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Surprises in the State of the Union Address | Selected from 83 submissions sent in by 31 contributors. Writer credits: This time, chamber seating was divided into "Indicted" and "Non-Indicted" sections. (Kevin Freels, Sparks, NV) Supreme Court justices will now be required to wear their corporate sponsors’ logos on their robes, NASCAR-style (Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA) "C'mon, man, the federal deficit isn't so bad when you measure it in Bitcoins!" (David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO) Prez promoted his new sneakers: Air Bidens. "Not for use on stairs." (Bill Muse, Seattle, WA) After Biden discussed current military conflict, border tension, and internal partisan strife, he brought up Billy Joel to debut three new verses of We Didn't Start the Fire. (Carl Knorr, Schaumburg, IL) Outbursts at a minimum now that each usher is equipped with a seltzer bottle. (Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA) Granted Melania Trump a pardon from her marriage vows. (Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX) "My guest tonight, Maury Povich, brought DNA test results that conclusively prove that Hunter is NOT my son." (Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC) Out: Malarkey. In: Flibbertigibbit. (Jeffrey Anbinder, Brooklyn, NY) Instead of finishing with "God bless the United States of America," it's "Gotta go, Matlock's on!" (John C. Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI)

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Chris White

Mar 8, 2024

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