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NEWS: Elon Musk's company Neuralink is anxious to begin testing its brain-implanted computer interfaces on humans. The Top 11 Potential Hazards of Computer Interfaces in Our Brains 11> Daydreams about your stepmom auto-upload to PornHub. 10> During the staff meeting, something continuously compels you to throw a bagel at your boss. 9> Every time you pick your nose, your brain reboots. 8> Lovemaking is now interrupted by Alexa notifications to buy more lube. 7> Every dream you have involves that flying toaster screensaver. 6> Unless you pay off that ransomware you'll never get an erection again. 5> The only way to block Joe Rogan's podcast is to wear a metal colander on your head. 4> Occasional reboots require stuffing an AOL CD up your ass. 3> Either you pay Elon $8 per month or someone else can claim your brain. 2> Migraines whenever more than two people use you as wi-fi hotspot. And the number 1 Potential Hazard of Computer Interfaces in Our Brains... 1> Keeps giving you the "wrong" answers on your Bible college science exams.

Today's list was selected from 97 submissions by 35 contributors. CREDITS: 11> Bill Muse, Seattle, WA 10> Tim H. Richweis, New Haven, CT 9> Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL 8> Kim Moser, New York, NY 7> Danny Gallagher, Dallas, TX 6> Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH 5> Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL 4> Reid Kerr, Sugartit, KY 3> John C. Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 2> Bill Muse, Seattle, WA 1> Dave Wesley, Sacramento, CA

Top5 for 3/29/23

Chris White

Mar 29, 2023

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