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The Top 10 Signs a Baseball Team Has Problems  |   "Pete Rose Day" resulted in a spike in FanDuel activity on the clubhouse WiFi.  The only runs they've gotten this week came from eating bad shrimp.  On "Jersey Night," the jerseys come with contracts.  Attendance at the stadium dropped 50% when you-know-who bought the naming rights with taxpayer money and christened it King Trump Daddy Most Beautiful Sports Stadium in the World.  Team mascot has moved to other team's dugout roof.  Starting this season, there's LOTS of crying in baseball.  Every time the vendors yell, "Ice cream, getcher ice cream," your entire outfield bolts for the parking lot.  No designated hitter, but four designated drivers.  Your backup catcher appears to be living in the bullpen.  Your ace pitcher's elbow is fine but he needs Jimmy John surgery to get that footlong out of his throat.
The Top 10 Signs a Baseball Team Has Problems   |   Selected from 66 submissions sent in by 23 contributors. Writer credits:  "Pete Rose Day" resulted in a spike in FanDuel activity on the clubhouse WiFi. 	(Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA)  The only runs they've gotten this week came from eating bad shrimp. 	(Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY)  On "Jersey Night," the jerseys come with contracts. 	(Nathan C. Sherman, Bellevue, WA)  Attendance at the stadium dropped 50% when you-know-who bought the naming rights with taxpayer money and christened it King Trump Daddy Most Beautiful Sports Stadium in the World. 	(Kristian Idol, International Falls, MN)  Team mascot has moved to other team's dugout roof. 	(Peter Bauer, Delft, The Netherlands)  Starting this season, there's LOTS of crying in baseball. 	(Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA)  Every time the vendors yell, "Ice cream, getcher ice cream," your entire outfield bolts for the parking lot. 	(Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL  |  David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO)  No designated hitter, but four designated drivers. 	(Bill Muse, Seattle, WA)  Your backup catcher appears to be living in the bullpen. 	(Reid Kerr, Sugartit, KY)  Your ace pitcher's elbow is fine but he needs Jimmy John surgery to get that footlong out of his throat. 	(Kristian Idol, International Falls, MN)

Top5 for 3/25/26

Signs a Baseball Team Has Problems

Chris White

Chris White

Mar 25, 2026
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