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MUSING WITH MITCH by Mitchell Kobriger The true March Madness begins and ends with green beer. Is nothing sacred anymore? I'm not much for looking a gift horse in the mouth, but I've taken up the challenge of staring at my dog while she yawns. My favorite sauces: steak, special, and teriyaki. In that order. Now that it's almost spring, it's time for me to bring my lawn darts out for the season. Gives "Get off my lawn!" a whole new twist. I'll drink a craft beer when they pry the Schlitz can from my cold, dead, still-drunk hands. Idea! A refrigerated fanny pack. Keep that Mars Bar from melting. You're welcome, America. For my money, the 1964 Sears Christmas Catalog has never been surpassed as a bathroom reading classic. Barbers are the real heroes, only they’re too modest to admit it. One hill Mitch is willing to die on is that there’s no better drink than his signature cocktail, the Pickle-Juice Martini.

THIS IS NOT NORMAL A cartoon by Danny Gallagher Panel 1: Danny is seated on his couch, fiercely competing on a first-person shooter video game. Panel 2: On the screen, it shows Danny has "GOD MODE" activated as he guns down a figure in the game. Panel 3: Nearby on his phone, a message pops up that reads, "NEW EMAIL." Panel 4: Danny reads the email: "From Jane Billings, to God@gmail.com: I know I don't pray to you a lot, but if you could please watch over my son who is going to the doctor's office to..."

Top5 for 3/17/23

Chris White

Mar 17, 2023

Musing With Mitch

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