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The Top 8 Things Overheard on Valentine's Day | (A version of this list was first published on February 13, 2007.) "Charles, I’m begging you to take off all my clothes! Honestly, you don't look good in lace." "I don't understand it either, honey. It was smokin' hot on the Victoria's Secret model." "I said send it *FTD* -- not STD!" "These aren't candy hearts. They're Tums!" "I know. It means, 'You make me sick.'" "Happy Valentine's Day and thank you for calling Lonely Singles Hotline, Mr. Smith. Or should I call you Will?" "You had me at 'A dozen red roses will get you oral.'" "No, not exactly... but I really, really LUST you." "How did you find a stuffed animal that looks exactly like the neighbor's cat?"

The Top 8 Things Overheard on Valentine's Day | A version of this list was first published on February 13, 2007. Writer credits: "Charles, I’m begging you to take off all my clothes! Honestly, you don't look good in lace." (Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA) "I don't understand it either, honey. It was smokin' hot on the Victoria's Secret model." (Kim Moser, New York, NY) "I said send it *FTD* -- not STD!" (Dave Henry, Slidell, LA) "These aren't candy hearts. They're Tums!" "I know. It means, 'You make me sick.'" (Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX) "Happy Valentine's Day and thank you for calling Lonely Singles Hotline, Mr. Smith. Or should I call you Will?" (Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX) "You had me at 'A dozen red roses will get you oral.'" (Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA) "No, not exactly... but I really, really LUST you." (Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA) "How did you find a stuffed animal that looks exactly like the neighbor's cat?" (John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA)

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Chris White

Feb 11, 2026

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