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Signs Your Wedding Was Not Perfect | When preacher said "Does anyone object...", guests looked like they were doing The Wave. Each "I do" was preceded by hushed consultation with a lawyer. House Republicans kept blocking the vows until your fiancé agreed to marry Mike Johnson. The painted blue faces for your groomsmen did not go over as well as the kilts. The caterer ran out of Cheez Whiz. Coyotes on the left side of the church, road runners on the right. Your bride's response to "love, honor, & obey" was "Fuck THAT shit." Not only did the bride's father pay the dowry right at the altar, he asked if you could make change for a full-grown sheep. Minister cut off the vows halfway through because he had to go do an Uber pickup.

Signs Your Wedding Was Not Perfect | Selected from 94 submissions from 34 contributors. Credits: When preacher said "Does anyone object...", guests looked like they were doing The Wave. (Bill Muse, Seattle, WA) (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA) Each "I do" was preceded by hushed consultation with a lawyer. (Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA) House Republicans kept blocking the vows until your fiancé agreed to marry Mike Johnson. (Slick Sharkey, Clayton, GA) The painted blue faces for your groomsmen did not go over as well as the kilts. (Fred Tingler, Melissa, TX) The caterer ran out of Cheez Whiz. (Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH) Coyotes on the left side of the church, road runners on the right. (Gene Dieden, The Woodlands, TX) Your bride's response to "love, honor, & obey" was "Fuck THAT shit." (Bill Muse, Seattle, WA) Not only did the bride's father pay the dowry right at the altar, he asked if you could make change for a full-grown sheep. (Carl Knorr, Schaumburg, IL) Minister cut off the vows halfway through because he had to go do an Uber pickup. (Reid Kerr, Sugartit, KY)

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Chris White

Nov 8, 2023

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