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The Top 10 Signs You're Sleeping With a Spy | She asks you to talk dirty, then specifies "about your defense contracts." Whenever you speak, he pushes the toaster closer to your mouth. Invites you to meet her parents: two men who are in a white van already outside your house. Five minutes into her date with you and she's whispering into the napkin dispenser about needing extraction. Her multicolor pen writes in blue, black, and invisible. Foreplay always includes you being blindfolded and tied up while she rifles through your desk. The champagne is chilled. The lights are low. She slowly removes her trenchcoat to reveal... another trenchcoat. His Prince Albert is picking up a numbers station. Look at yourself in the mirror. Now look at that smoking hot person you've been sleeping with. Now look at yourself in the mirror. Is it sinking in yet?

The Top 10 Signs You're Sleeping With a Spy | Selected from 71 submissions from 25 contributors. Writer credits: She asks you to talk dirty, then specifies "about your defense contracts." (Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA | Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL | Brandon Eldridge, Marine, IL | Vic Vitek, Tamworth, NH) Whenever you speak, he pushes the toaster closer to your mouth. (Peter Bauer, Delft, The Netherlands) Invites you to meet her parents: two men who are in a white van already outside your house. (LeMel Williams, Oakland, CA) Five minutes into her date with you and she's whispering into the napkin dispenser about needing extraction. (Richard Koppinger, Hamilton, NJ) Her multicolor pen writes in blue, black, and invisible. (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN) Foreplay always includes you being blindfolded and tied up while she rifles through your desk. (Dave Wesley, Sacramento, CA) The champagne is chilled. The lights are low. She slowly removes her trenchcoat to reveal... another trenchcoat. (Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL) His Prince Albert is picking up a numbers station. (Kevin Paul Wickart, Normal, IL) Look at yourself in the mirror. Now look at that smoking hot person you've been sleeping with. Now look at yourself in the mirror. Is it sinking in yet? (Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA)

Top5 for 11/11/26

Signs You're Sleeping With a Spy

Chris White

Nov 11, 2026

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