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Reasons Your NFL Team Didn't Make the Playoffs | The home stadium was outside the star receiver's ankle monitor range. Team gave only 109 percent. Porous defense was the fault of Antifa and FBI infiltrators, not the actual players. Diva quarterback suffered a torn labia. Players aren't rehydrating with Stanley mugs. Spent too much time on the essay portion of the season. Coach forgot ref's Venmo username. Star tight end's girlfriend's fame is limited to Employee of the Month at Waffle House. "Ref, we just need you to find us eleven more yards."

Reasons Your NFL Team Didn't Make the Playoffs | Selected from 84 submissions sent in by 30 contributors. The home stadium was outside the star receiver's ankle monitor range. (Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA) Team gave only 109 percent. (Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL) Porous defense was the fault of Antifa and FBI infiltrators, not the actual players. (Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA) Diva quarterback suffered a torn labia. (Mark Zinck, Grand Rapids, MI) Players aren't rehydrating with Stanley mugs. (Slick Sharkey, Clayton, GA) Spent too much time on the essay portion of the season. (Reid Kerr, Sugartit, KY) Coach forgot ref's Venmo username. (Bill Muse, Seattle, WA) Star tight end's girlfriend's fame is limited to Employee of the Month at Waffle House. (Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT) "Ref, we just need you to find us eleven more yards." (Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL)

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Chris White

Jan 10, 2024

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