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Nobody puts Baby in a corner!
October 31, 2001


~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

In this day and age, when America is fighting
a war against an unseen enemy, it's difficult
for people to know just who the bad guys are.

We here at TopFive decided to take a break from
our usual duties as humor list writers in order to
perform a public service by presenting this list
of terrorist organizations that do not get the
attention of the media the way Al Qaeda does...


The Top 20 Little-Known Terrorist Organizations


    1. Al Quesadilla -- fighting for Mexican cheese appetizers

    2. B.R.A. (Banana Republican Army) -- khaki-wearing freedom fighting yuppies

    3. International House of Paramilitarism -- No attacks before breakfast!

    4. Al Shamu -- whales fighting for liberation of their Seaworld-captive brethren

    5. Ku Klutz Klan -- clumsy cross-burning rednecks

    6. Kabob-aloos -- Cuban freedom fighters armed only with skewers

    7. The IRAs -- little nebbish guys who annoy the hell out of people, with pants hiked high to conceal their Glocks

    8. El McPherson -- band of crazed-from-hunger Supermodels

    9. The Moulin Rouge -- French Communist song and dance troupe

    10. The Spanish Imposition -- Your Tia Josephina comes for a visit, stays for a month, and lounges around all day watching Spanish soap operas with the TV volume blasting.

    11. Al Kato -- freeloading houseguests who move in and eat all your food

    12. The Talibananarama -- spreading the message of bad British '80s dance music

    13. Hamina-hamina-hamas -- freedom fighters for Jackie Gleason

    14. Balsamic Jihad -- fundamentalist food critics

    15. "Weird Al" Qaeda -- attacking the capitalist, American government by spreading their revolutionary message in the form of a rousing polka medley

    16. The Black Pansies -- black-gloved horticulturists

    17. Yeehaw Jihad -- "The Cowboys of Chaos"

    18. Al Ro'ker -- eighty percent chance of a Rain of Terror!

    19. Falun Bong -- Uhm... hey, man, what are we fighting again?

      and the Number 1 Little-Known Terrorist Organization...

    20. Pujafudin-Pujafudout -- spreading the terror that is the Hokey Pokey

Join ClubTop5 to check out the
runner up submissions for this list.



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Selected from 106 submissions from 41 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 1, 20 (9th #1) Email / Website
  • Andrew Thomas, Omaha, NE -- 2
  • Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 3, 12 Email
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 4, 8, 17, Topic (Hat Trick!) Email
  • Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 4 Website
  • Matt Moore, Fresno, CA -- 5 Email
  • Perry Friedman, Monterey, CA -- 6 Email / Website
  • Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- 6 Email
  • Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 7
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 9, 16, 19 (Hat Trick!) Email
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 10 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Craig Stacey, Romeoville, IL -- 10 Email / Website
  • Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 11
  • Pat Sajak, Los Angeles, CA -- 13, 15 Website
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 14
  • Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL -- 14
  • Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 18 Email
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 20 Email / Website
  • Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC -- 20 Hall of Famer
  • Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 20 Email
  • Gareth Nelson, whereabouts unknown -- Banner tag
  • Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- Runner Up list name Hall of Famer
  • Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- Honorable Mention list name
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Insane Clown Posse, Detroit, MI -- Ambience   (explanation)

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