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Pasteurized for Your Safey
October 23, 2001


The Top 14 Pet Peeves of Teachers


    1. "God, I hope that's just chalk dust on my desk."

    2. Apples, apples, apples! Would it kill these kids to pass a little of the good weed this way?

    3. Benighted administrators who insist you know the subject you're teaching.

    4. Last state-mandated pay raise was held up because the Legislature got sidetracked with seceding from the Union and raising an army to fight the Yankees.

    5. Gone are the ditto machines and the righteous between-class buzz their fluid once provided.

    6. Finishing a cafeteria lunch only to realize you're actually in the biology specimen lab.

    7. It's been almost 20 years since the movie, yet the Spicoli imitations go on and on.

    8. They sit there all confused in math class, but they've hacked your e-mail account and have an algorithm that would baffle Einstein to determine the relative value of their Pokemon collections.

    9. The food stamp office closes before your last class.

    10. Hard to find a decent Kevlar flak jacket that doesn't pinch under the arms.

    11. Students who offer sex for a better grade, then fail to come through on their end of the bargain.

    12. Hall passes written on butt cheeks.

    13. Phys Ed teachers who shake you and your fellow science teachers down for lunch money in the teachers' lounge.

      and the Number 1 Pet Peeve of Teachers...

    14. Corporal punishment has been outlawed and psychological torment just takes too damn long.

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runner up submissions for this list.



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Selected from 109 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 1 (17th #1) Email
  • Mitch Berg, Saint Paul, MN -- 2 Email / Website
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 3 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 4
  • Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 5, 6, 11 (Hat Trick!) Hall of Famer
  • John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 7
  • Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 8
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 9 Email
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 10, RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 12, 13 Email
  • Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC -- 14 Hall of Famer
  • Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA -- Topic
  • Gloria Monti, Santa Cruz, CA -- Banner Tag Email
  • Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- Honorable Mention list name
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List moderator
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Van Halen, Pasadena, CA -- Ambience   (explanation)

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