[an error occurred while processing this directive] [an error occurred while processing this directive]
It's your patriotic duty, Chester.
October 22, 2001


~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

The other day, I was thinking that maybe TopFive
doesn't do enough REALLY juvenile humor lists.

Then I sobered up and realized that we do plenty of them --
but that didn't stop us from doing yet another, as well
as throwing in an X-rated version for our ClubTop5 members!

A Colorado man recently found what was originally
thought to be a penis in a bottle of fruit juice.
I understand that it turned out to be some sort of
mold shaped like a danglything, but still... ewwwww.


The Top 15 Names for Drinks Containing Genitalia
(R-rated version)


    1. Man-root Beer

    2. Grape KneeLength

    3. Orange Bush

    4. Royal Crotch Cola

    5. Red Balls

    6. Ginger's Tail

    7. Shaftsta

    8. Toolaide

    9. Dr. Pecker

    10. Knee-Hi Cream Soda

    11. Yoo-Hoo, Sailor!

    12. Poke-a Cola

    13. Mount 'n' Do Me

    14. Mandarin Schlong Explosion Snapple

      and the Number 1 Name for Drinks Containing Genitalia...

    15. 'Baterade

Join ClubTop5 to check out the
runner up submissions for this list.



[an error occurred while processing this directive]

Selected from 178 submissions from 55 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 1, 8 (8th #1) Email
  • Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 2 Website
  • Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 3, 4 Email
  • Bob Van Voris, New York, NY -- 3, 6
  • Chris Irby, Dallas, TX -- 3, 9
  • Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 3, 9
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 3 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ -- 4, 11
  • Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 4, Banner Tag Hall of Famer
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 4 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC -- 5 Hall of Famer
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- 7 Email
  • Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 8, 14, 15
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 9, 14 Email
  • Ashley Deckard, Houston, TX -- 9
  • Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD -- 10 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 10 Email
  • Lisa Lavoie, Warwick, RI -- 10 Email
  • Craig Stacey, Romeoville, IL -- 12 Email / Website
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 13, RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 13 Email
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY -- 14 Email / Website
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 15, Runner Up list name Email / Website
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 15 Email
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 15 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 15
  • Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX -- 15 Email / Website
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- Topic Email / Hall of Famer
  • Bob Hasak, Pittsburgh, PA -- Topic
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • 10 CC, Manchester, England -- Ambience   (explanation)

[an error occurred while processing this directive] [an error occurred while processing this directive]
>