October 17, 2001
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
A California think tank that works on virtual
training programs for the Army has assembled some
of Hollywood's top talent to brainstorm possible
terrorist plots, including the co-writer of "Die Hard."
The Top 13 Helpful Hints Given
to the Pentagon by Hollywood
- Make sure to issue a statement that no animals were harmed during the bombing.
- Those satellite recon photos add a good 10 pounds.
- Make sure whatever post-Taliban coalition government you form includes Gwyneth or Julia, if you want it to open big.
- First you let bin Laden tell you all the details of his evil plan, THEN you send a cruise missile up his ass.
- Bin Laden's base is most likely beneath a fake lake in a dormant volcano.
- Recipe for success: Secretary of Defense who "plays by the book," and Chairman of Joint Chiefs of Staff who "cuts corners, uses his street smarts, and gets the job done."
- Green Berets: Good. Elite team of black-leather-clad ninja babes: Better.
- Beat bin Laden at Baccarat right in front of his scantily-clad escort.
- Earth tones? Camouflage? Hello? That is *so* 1980's!
- Always reserve one seat on every plane for a disgruntled ex-cop with a bad attitude.
- Do not appoint Robert Downey, Jr. for any wartime post that requires perfect attendance.
- Whatever you do, don't hold the after-war party at Spago -- their calamari is like rubber bands!
and the Number 1 Helpful Hint Given to the Pentagon by Hollywood...
- There can be no defense whatsoever against a sudden attack of Mariah Carey's acting.
Join ClubTop5 to check out the
runner up submissions for this list.
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Selected from 107 submissions from 42 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX -- 1, 3, 4 (6th #1) Email / Website
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 2, 6 Website
- Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 5 Email
- Mitch Berg, Saint Paul, MN -- 7 Email / Website
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 8 Email / Hall of Famer
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 9 Email
- Bob Van Voris, New York, NY -- 10
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 11, HM list naem Hall of Famer
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 12 Email
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 13, RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Dave Lim, Chicago, IL -- Topic
- Ross Brown, Seattle, WA -- Banner Tag Email
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Brian Wilson, Hawthorne, CA -- Ambience (explanation)