October 10, 2001
The Top 14 Cool Ways to Tell Your Boss You're Quitting
- "Sir, could please sign here [present left butt cheek]... and here [present right butt cheek]."
- Two words: caca pie
- Email your resignation letter to him -- one character at a time.
- Let the zero balance in the operating fund and one-way ticket to Barbados on your expense report speak for you.
- "Take this job and shove it -- like a truck stop waitress's size 13 ass in a pair of size 7 K-Mart Capri stretch pants."
- Go in to see him wearing a monkey suit, and, well, the rest of it involves feces.
- "Sorry, Osama, but Iraq's offering twice the money and full benefits, plus there's a Navy SEAL team standing right outside your window."
- Say it with an FTD "Bye-bye, You Ball-Busting Bitch" bouquet.
- "I've chosen to pursue other opportunities, starting with the opportunity to have you kiss my ass goodbye."
- Appointicate Jesse Jackson to emissariate the deliveration of your resignatory letteration.
- "Dude, you know that thing you do, when it's, like, time to leave? Not leave, you know, for the day, but, you know, LEAVE leave? I'm all over that."
- Skip urgent staff meeting and "accidentally" get caught having sex with Elizabeth Hurley on boss's desk.
- Wendy's Haiku: Open before me: A thousand highways of joy. Cook your own damn fries!
and the Number 1 Cool Way to Tell Your Boss You're Quitting...
- SEXYLADY861> LOL its really me -- BILL! u suk!!! i quit!!!!
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runner up submissions for this list.
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Selected from 85 submissions from 34 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Chris Irby, Dallas, TX -- 1 (8th #1)
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 2, 6 Email
- Joe Desiderio, New York, NY -- 3
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 4 Email
- Ashley Deckard, Houston, TX -- 5, 7, 11
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 8 Website
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 9, 13
- Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- 10 Email
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 12 Email
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 14 Email
- Mark Levine, Los Angeles, CA -- Topic Email
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- Banner Tag Email / Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Honorable Mention list name Email
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Don Eugene Lytle, Greenfield, OH -- Ambience (explanation)