October 8, 2001
The Top 15 Innovative Ways to Delay Orgasm
- Rubber bands and duct tape, baby!
- Ask for an instant replay review on all holding calls.
- Only have sex with people who aren't very good at it.
- Imagine your mother doing exactly what you're doing, only better.
- Think about baseball (not for use by George Will).
- Alt+Tab back to Excel. Repeat until download completes.
- Get into Dungeons & Dragons while still in high school -- that'll delay it by 30 years or so.
- Barbara Bush bed sheets.
- Expose your organ to a sensation-deadening substance -- like your Significant Other, for example.
- "Linda Tripp on a cold day... Linda Tripp on a cold day..."
- Mentally alphabetize your entire pantyhose collection by color; then start on hers.
- Relax and remind yourself that she's not charging you by the minute.
- Imagine how much trouble you'll be in if Hillary catches you.
- Don't touch the sides, a la "Operation."
and the Number 1 Innovative Way to Delay Orgasm...
- Have her dress like Captain Janeway instead of Lieutenant Uhura.
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runner up submissions for this list.
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Selected from 116 submissions from 41 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Andy Ihnatko, Boston, MA -- 1, 4 (7th #1)
- John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 2 Email
- Bob Van Voris, New York, NY -- 3, 11
- Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA -- 4 Email / Website
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 5
- Chris Irby, Dallas, TX -- 6
- Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 6
- Mitch Berg, Saint Paul, MN -- 7 Email / Website
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 8 Hall of Famer
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 9 Email
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 9 Email / Website
- Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 10 Email
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 12 Email
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 13 Email
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC -- 14 Hall of Famer
- Patrick Major, Dallas, OR -- 15 Email
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- Topic Email
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Holly Johnson, Liverpool, England -- Ambience (explanation)