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The List With the Dramatic Air of Self-Importance
February 9, 1998


The Top 5 Signs You're at
a Bad Figure-Skating Competition


    1. Thin ice on the lake results in three drownings before the prelims come up.

    2. Tara Lipinski cancels at last minute, is replaced by Monica Lewinsky.

    3. More butts hitting the ice than at the annual R.J. Reynolds Ice Fishing Tournament.

    4. Brian Boitano's new program interprets history of male pattern baldness.

      and the Number 1 Sign You're at a Bad Figure-Skating Competition...

    5. Oksana Baiul is chipping ice out of the rink for margaritas.



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Selected from 105 submissions from 38 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Selected from 156 submissions from 66 contributors.
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 1 (17th #1)
  • Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- 2
  • Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 3
  • Phil Doyle, Mercer Island, WA -- 4
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 5
  • Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA -- 5
  • Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC -- Topic
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- Banner Tag
  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- Runner Up list name
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor
  • Jethro Tull, London, England -- Ambience
  • Jellyfish, San Francisco, CA -- Ambience

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