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TopFive.com
Don't mess with me, Porkchop.
June 29, 2007


~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

It's Little Fiver Month!

Today's list was compiled by
Top5 Pets moderator Sandra Hull.

Top5 Pets archives

Subscribe to the Little Fiver lists!


The Top 14 Signs Your Pet Is Addicted to the Internet


  1. Your "cookies" folder is almost empty, but there are countless files in "treats."

  2. There are a lot more tongue marks on the monitor than the ones *you've* left.

  3. The desktop wallpaper is now a close-up of Paris Hilton. Specifically, her right leg.

  4. Run the can opener; nothing.
    Say, "Badger! Badger! Badger!"; Mittens runs to you like a cheetah on crack.

  5. Well, *somebody* has been using your computer to visit MySpays.com.

  6. The computer's motherboard just whelped a litter.

  7. The cat dies of Corrupted Blood Plague.

  8. Rover refuses to catch anything but AOL installation CDs.

  9. No matter how often you update your Netflix queue, they always send you another batch of Lassie episodes.

  10. The canary will only fly in wi-fi enabled airspace.

  11. "Hello, Mr. Fluffy. I am writing to you in the confidential strictness to ask you assistance in gratefully retrieving my families estate in Nigeria."

  12. Your female iguana's eyes are always bloodshot and your browser history shows thousands of visits to GEICO.

  13. Your goldfish IMs you to change the damn tank filter.

    and the Number 1 Sign Your Pet Is Addicted to the Internet...

  14. He keeps looking in the mirror and squawking "L33ty Bird!" "L33ty Bird!"



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Selected from 84 submissions from 33 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA -- 1, 7 (2nd #1)
  • Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA -- 2
  • Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX -- 3
  • Richard Skora, Columbus, OH -- 4
  • Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 5, 8
  • Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 6 Hall of Famer
  • Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 9 Hall of Famer
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 10 Hall of Famer
  • Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 11 Website / Hall of Famer
  • John J. Brassil, Nashville, TN -- 12
  • Brad Hamer, Austin, TX -- 13
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 14 Hall of Famer
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List moderator, Topic Website / Hall of Famer
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Machine Gun, New York, NY -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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