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TopFive.com
Do not chew or crush -- swallow whole.
June 20, 2007


~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

It's Little Fiver Month!

Today's list was compiled by
Top5 Parenting moderator Daniel Weckerly.

Top5 Parenting archives

Subscribe to the Little Fiver lists!


The Top 14 Signs Your Celebrity Child
Isn't Doing Well in Prison


  1. Throwing up gross prison food takes all the fun out of bulimia.

  2. "How am I supposed to reform my life when the feng shui here is simply impossible?"

  3. Just look at her. She's wearing orange... in the summer! Can no one help her?

  4. They're talking about early parole "just to stop all the crying."

  5. The requirement of three square meals a day has pushed her weight up to triple digits.

  6. Regular inmates aren't respecting the velvet rope that limits access to his cell.

  7. Even his cellmate doesn't want his autograph.

  8. Her antics forced E! to stretch her "True Hollywood Story" into a 10-part miniseries.

  9. There's no body double for the shower scenes.

  10. He just sold the rights to his life story for a pack of smokes.

  11. He sees dead people. In the next bunk.

  12. Her mug shot crashed The Smoking Gun's Web servers.

  13. He keeps accidentally shivving himself.

    and the Number 1 Sign Your Celebrity Child Isn't Doing Well in Prison...

  14. She wants you to smuggle in her Chihuahua, baked inside a cake.



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Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
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Selected from 77 submissions from 30 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 1, 3 (19th #1)
  • Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 2
  • Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA -- 4
  • Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA -- 5, 7 Website / Hall of Famer
  • Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT -- 5
  • Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC -- 6 Website
  • David Kass, Queens, NY -- 8 Hall of Famer
  • Meg Silvern, Tucson, AZ -- 9
  • Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA -- 10
  • David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA -- 10
  • Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY -- 11
  • Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX -- 12 Website
  • Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 13 Hall of Famer
  • Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA -- 14 Hall of Famer
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- List Moderator, Topic Hall of Famer
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Swans, New York, NY -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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