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The Internet's elite love TopFive!

"Two thumbs way, WAY up!"
(Linky & Dinky)

"TopFive is one of my favorite reads every day. I find it
consistently funny and original -- no recycled humor here!"

(Bob Rankin, The Internet Tourbus)

"Chris White commands his army of unpaid humor writers as
Darth Vader did the Empire -- through evil and fear based on his weird
looks. The results are the same -- utter and total domination over the
humor galaxy. Look in your heart. You know it to be true."

(Mr. Sun)

"There aren't too many online publications that can say
they've been around for more than 10 years. TopFive is one of
the few. Why? T5's original content keeps up with the times and
is consistently funny. What more could anyone want?"

(Randy Cassingham, This is True)

And our readers? They love us, too!

TopFive continues to be, hands down, the best entertainment value on the net.
          (Rob G.)

This is absolutely my favorite subscritption, bar none. I always share it with my daughter and she looks forward to it every day. Ruminations helps me start my day with a smile on my face.
          (Jennie C.)

Your lists are the only content on the net I gladly pay for. Keep up the excellent work!
          (Faisal S.)

I love the TopFive. The humor you put out is just hilarious.
          (L. Knowles)

I'm having real trouble with this list. My eyes are tearing up from so much laughter that I can't read.
          (John M.)

Love the list; it's ideal for my warped sense of humour.
          (Mark S.)

Thanks for providing such a quality product -- it really is one of the best humor sites anywhere!
          (Jefferson O.)

This stuff is great! I've been a subscriber for the last 3 years!
          (Chris S.)

ClubRum is my favorite e-mail of every day. Keep up the good work.
          (Jim E.)

Best humor on the net!
          (Ralph K.)

Still the most effective time-waster and efficiency-destroyer that I take time to pay for. Damn you, Damn you, damn you, and keep them coming.
          (Kevin D.)

I renew my membership because I STILL believe you are giving me my money's worth. THANK YOU.
          (Steve M.)

Keep 'em coming - can't help but look forward to TopFive in my inbox each day!
          (Mikelyn M.)

I'm now committed to you for 4 more years -- even more than I feel committed to my job! You better be around in 2009. Buy your grandkids an ice cream on me. :)
          (Grace D.)

Hey, keep up the good work! I can imagine that this is tough work, but you're really building a unique business model & making a lot of people -- me included -- happy. Good luck, dude.
          (Stefan S.)

Club Top 5 and Club Ruminations are two of the mailings I look forward to seeing in my inbox and are worth every penny! Keep up the good work -- lots of fun for this old preacher!
          (Rev. Karl K.)

laughter therapy. this should be deductible! i hope to have you around for many years to come!
          (Carey R.)

It's still my favourite way of starting the (working) day - reading my Top5 lists with my first cup of coffee.
          (Arnold M.)

By the way, I just want to say that the Top5 is one of my favorite parts of the day. No joking.
          (Rodney E.)

Thanks again for all your brilliant work. Your humor is well worth the price of a subscription.
          (Bryant S.)

I have been a subscriber of The Ruminations List for several months now, and I have to say I simply love it! These kinds of one-liners are right up my alley. From a grateful subscriber, I say thank you.
          (Joshua M.)

Thank you for Ruminations. Keep em coming. I really enjoy them and look forward to reading them every morning. Kind of puts a perspective on life sometimes.
          (Angela P.)

Love it! You continue to be a beacon of hope to all of us on Death Row, Chris. Now, if you can just talk to the governor.
Bless you,

          (Richard S.)

Thanks for your e-mail service. It's one of my favorites. I look forward to it every day.
          (Mary S.)

Sometimes I come home after a day that's the pits and tune in to Ruminations and just laugh. The world is right again! Thanks!
          (Janice C.)

Thanks for the laugh out loud Ruminations page. It is an awesome way to start my otherwise dismal experience on the planet. Thank you verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry much. See you in the funny papers.
          (Eric S.)

Ruminations are the BEST! I look forward to them every day. Please never stop them!
          (Simon W.)

know what? the ruminations are getting better every day:-)
          (Barb in Spokane)

Your ruminations is the most thought-provoking site I've ever seen on the web. Weird and Strange is a good thing!
          (Gene B.)

Hey Chris, just stumbled onto your site--way cool! Was wondering if there's an archives for the "Ruminations" section.
          (Tim F.)

Just wanted to say how much I look forward to my rums every morning. I won't touch a piece of paper on my desk til after I've read them. Yep - a great way to start the day!
          (Trev S.)

Dear Chris,
Oh puhleeze, oh puleeze, oh puleeeeeeze!!!!!!!!
Don't make me laugh so hard for sooooooo long!!!
Do you know how many of my relatives and friends
I can tick off with your latest column? Well done!
Hahahahahahahahah! Many thanks!

          (Janice C.)

Thanks for a funny list and having the cajones to put it out there!
          (Brian D.)

I find your lists to be the highlight of my daily e-mails.
          (John M.)

This has to be the funniest thing I've seen in the 21st century!
          (Bill G.)

An AWESOME way to take the depressing and troubling edge off the news from last week. I laughed out loud at things I probably normally would not have thought funny.
Keep up the great work. Thank you!

          (Deb F.)

Please add 3 more years onto 2 years previously ordered for a total of 5 years. Thanks!
          (Marilyn F.)

Renew me for an additional four years. Thanks
          (James M.)

Love the do a great job!!
          (Scott B.)

I am pleased to renew - this list has amused me for years and years - plus your support of me during my Avon walk to fight Breast Cancer was so righteous.... you do good things, my friend. keep making me pee my pants laughing.
          (Liz M.)

Just wanted to say thanks for all the years of yuks! Please keep the Top5 lists coming. Some of us have been around for a while and might have to start reading Dilbert if you ever stop doing the lists.
          (David C.)

Keep up the good work. This is the *only* subscription on the Internet I'm willing to pay for. No, I don't have any of *those* kind, either. Really. Really. Nope, not me. Thanks. -sb
          (Michael B.)

I don't even pay for porn, but I think that this is worth paying for.
          (Gwilym S.)

I'm a little ticked off that you TopFive people sleep six, maybe seven hours every day, instead of thinking up funny stuff for my amusement. Knock it off, will ya?!
          (Allen C.)

As always, Chris, always worth the price of renewal and then some. Keep up the good work.
          (Patrick O.)

Thanks a ton for brewing up the Deluxe list version. It hit the sweetspot between my funnybone and my tight fist ;-)
          (Jeremy T.)

I am very happy with Top Five- you have given me many smiles over the years! Thank you!
          (Tim B.)

Your daily emails are why the internet is so freaking cool! I love your stuff, I buy from sites you have listed (specifically from Mark D. Sabien) so the whole system works. I was happy to sign up for 2 more years on both club rum and top 5 at that price!
          (Jerry L.)

Our whole family loves TopFive, keep up the great work!
          (Jennifer B.)

Full price, baby! Why - because we LIKE you!
          (Mary C.)

Keep the lists coming!
          (Michael T.)

i would like to thank you i im 16 i suffor from neuro-fi--bro-ma-tosis and i have a tumor in my chest and all the other stuff that goes on. i come to this site to see the daily stuff and it cheers me up i do not have a subsciption since we cant even afford electricty if it wasent for me being on oxygen at night it would be off but i love reading these daily. i love your site and keep it up. hopefully one day i can get the clubtop5!
          (Curtis S.)

[Note: Curtis is now enjoying his complimentary ClubTop5 subscription.]

Thanks for such fabulous, high quality humor that I would not be willing to show my Mom.
          (Tony M.)

This is the only internet content I pay for!
          (Michele A.)

your lists always make me laugh! keep it up!
          (Dave B.)

Just had to renew. TopFive is the most fun I've had since my cross-eyed sister tried to give me an enema.
          (Barry S.)

Nothing "measures up" to TopFive - You RULE!
          (Nancy D.)

I love your lists! They are the funniest on the Internet. Keep up the good work!
          (Laurie K.)

How could I possibly pass up an offer this good. Keep the humor coming!
          (Colleen L.)

Fantastic job, folks - I look forward to my lists every day.
          (Edward A.)

Add 3 more years onto 2 years previously ordered for a total of 5 years. Thanks!
          (Marilyn F.)

Sign me up for another 5 years. (I figured 5 years was most appropriate for Top 5.)
          (Bruce B.)

Thanks again for one of the best deals on the web.
          (Brian E.)

Worth the price of admission!!!
          (Sheila K.)

Yo Chris, tack another 2 years of ClubTop5 and ClubRum! Thanks!
          (Tom W.)

Still the best deal on the Internet.. thanks Chris!
          (Eric T.)

You give me a lot of pleasure. This is money well spent.
          (Jean K.)

Beam me up another 2 years o' that Top5 hilarity, Scotty!
          (David S.)

Keep up the great work! I'm happy to re-subscribe for 5 years!
          (Jacqui W.)

I am a TOPFIVE junkie. I need it! Please don't cut me off!!! Have you ever thought about marketing this as a treatment for depression or various unsundry mental conditions? HMMMMM!
          (Paula W.)

I got a Top 5 Jones!
          (Dana H.)

You guys rule! Thanks.
          (Reid K.)

This is a great deal! Thanks!
          (Richard M.)

Great bang for the buck.
          (Matt O.)

More! More! :-)
          (Deb L.)

Renew me. Keep up the good work.
          (Vincent S.)

You guys are great!!
          (Mark G.)

WooHoo! Another year, please.
          (Mary Ann M.)

You've suckered me in again Chris. Do you realize how many pigeons I could be feeding with this money? Have you no shame, sir?
          (Judi W.)

Renewing for an additional four years. Thanks!
          (James M.)

If my husband sees this charge on the credit card statement, I'm toast. I, on the other hand love your lists. Keep up the good work. (For at least three more years since that's what I paid for.) ;)
          (Grace D.)

Wish I could spend $17 and make all the people that fill my day have a sense of humor! Top5 keeps smiles on the faces of girls stuck in offices all day :o)
You guys rock like a Chevy van in a dark parking lot!

          (Christa G.)

We love the site, keep up the good work.
          (Margaret L.)

Chris - thanks for extending my membership gratis when I couldn't afford it. You're the best!
          (Dianne S.)

If there was any question -- I am indeed renewing my subscription.
          (Eric L.)

          (Janet H.)

I just wanted to let you know that one of my favorite parts of the Top 5 experience is the ambience that you provide us daily. Sometimes I get it before I click on the explanation, sometimes I don't, but I always enjoy it. Thanks to the ambience I have discovered some bands that I never would have heard of otherwise. THANK YOU for all the laughs, giggles and cringes that you give me Monday - Friday. It is much appreciated.
          (Christine D.)

thank you for hosting and administering such awesome lists. i look forward to getting them most every day.
          (Brett L.)

Keep up the good work ... I do like the lists!
          (Dennis J.)

I love Top 5 and am finally making an honest effort to help pay my way.
          (Kathy P.)

I should be thanking you for sending these lists and keeping my sanity during these extra busy times. There have been a few days as of late that if it wasn't for these lists, I probably would've just screamed from all the stress at work! Thanks again for all the hard work you and the gang have given us.
          (Robert B.)

Ruminations is the one I read every single time. I enjoy it so much and forward it often. The people that contribute to Ruminations are really cracked! I love it! Keep it coming!
          (Regina B.)

These ruminations are the best thing on the entire internet.
          (Jeff M.)

Keep up the great work - this is the best money I spend every year!
          (Brendan R.)

Chris, I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy the Ruminations of the Day. Thanks for a bright spot every day in my very hectic world.
          (Jayne F.)

First of all, I love the site. I've got ruminations saved everywhere on my computer, they're very funny.

In my opinion ... WORTH EVERY DAMN CENT!
          (Paula H.)

Ruminations makes me laugh every day. I love it!
          (Joan B.)

Just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy Ruminations. Two of today's (March 29) were so good, I thought it was time to write and let you know. Thanks for delivering up such wonderful humor.
          (N. Vishneski )

just wanted to let you know i totally enjoy ruminations--highlight of my day!
          (Sheryl S.)

Just wanted to drop you a note to say 'cheers' for all the ruminations. Ruminations is the ONLY mailing list that I conciously check for each day and it's the ONLY one that makes me laugh out loud on a daily basis!!
          (Rob G.)

Is it just the mood I'm in or are these the best Ruminations in a long time? Oh, I already know you get too much mail to answer, but still....I wanted you to know.:-)
          (Arlene J.)

I love your lists. (I'm subscribed to Top5, Classic, Ruminations, Kid, Whack, and all 28 Little Fivers.)
          (Matt C.)

i just wanted to compliment you on your ruminations choices for today...i laughed out loud at all of them! i look forward to getting top 5 lists and ruminations every day--thanks for the laughs!
          (Alicia W.)

Some of the lines are priceless. I think I'll stay around for awhile.

Vacation?!? Man, I thought you guys were dead... it was a drag flashing up the system without ruminations to start my day!!! It's true about addiction - you are always that last to know!!!
          (Sharon M.)

I just started receiving your Ruminations subscription a few days ago. I REALLY enjoy it!! Thanks for the laughs, and <*please*> keep up the good work...I dun reckon there's enough smiles ta go around...y'know??

I love ruminations. My boyfriend says I have no sense of humor, but he is an idiot. Where are they archived??
          (Shelly C.)

Today's was one of the best set of ruminations ever (and that's saying a lot!)
          (Marc M.)

Today's ruminations .......WAY too funny! Thank you for the giggles. YOUDABEST!
          (D. Klein)

Thank God for holiday vacations being over...I couldn't have lived another day without my Ruminations.
          (D. Ko)

Keep it coming. I laugh out loud at least once each time I read ruminations. Thanks so much!
          (Christine O.)

Ruminations is funny, witty and cool.
          (A. Morris)

i just wanted to say that i've really enjoyed the past year or so of your lists.
          (Mike S.)

Fantastic. Keep up the good woork!

Thank you, Chris, for your free extension when I was out of work. I have recently (finally) found a new job and can afford to renew. Thanks again.
          (William W.)

Thanks for the laughs Chris!
          (Timothy P.)

Too hard to resist the daily humor...which I SO DESPERATELY NEED !!!!
          (Diane S.)

Great service, thanks! --But your runner-ups are universally better than your top "5". Marketing gimick? Good idea!
          (John H.)

I just renewed and had to let you know that the first place I went was the "Certified Filthy" lists. Woohoo!
          (Cindy S.)

Chris, Thank you for the laughs... although it almost cost me my job. I work in a small remote office, 3 people, our own little bachelor pad. I have a white board where I put all my activities, to-do's, etc... and I wrote a rumination on the board... something about holding off on stabbing my boss with a corkscrew because the other employees kept telling me to "wait for a special occasion"... ... well... the OTHER employees laughed. The president of the company? My Boss? Did not think it was all that funny... ... which made it even FUNNIER.
Alas, I still have my job. I'll keep trying though!

          (Mike O.)

Oh, my! This was sick, but I'm twisted enough to have laughed out loud. Many times.
          (Alyson C.)

Yow! Howl! Great!
          (Michael R.)

I just had to comment on your poetry - this could have been your best Top 5 compilation yet! I loved it!!!!! Very original.
          (Debbie D.)

Personally, sir, I think you do a fine job. I receive quality humor on a regular basis for free, you've segregated your certified filthy list from my sensitive eyes and the material (especially the Ruminations) is just plain funny. Keep up the good work.
          (Fred T.)

Thanks for getting me in trouble by making me laugh out loud while my roommate was sleeping. :)
          (Katy D.)

You're a little bit of sunshine in my life every day. (Don't let my girlfriend know)
          (Brian P.)

I've been getting the list since the early days (93?). Glad you're still going strong.
          (John H.)

I HAD to come back. I had a severe humor deficiency.
          (Patricia M.)

Thanks for such fabulous, high quality humor that I would not be willing to show my Mom.
          (Tony M.)

Thanks, Chris!! Keep up the good work. It is so cool to find a group of people even nerdier than me. Don't tell my pretend girlfriend that I resubscribed. She might break up with me!!
          (William M.)

I love Top Five!
          (Elizabeth S.)

Woohoo! I just renewed my ClubTop5! One more year of laughter for me!
          (Karen M.)

Hi, Chris. My husband is still deployed. It turns out they don't have the email up and running in Tikrit yet, so the supply section still isn't getting your lists, but they appreciate the thought - and the hard copies I send. Thanks for the smiles; they come in handy these days!
          (Teresa R.)

Love the jokes!! Good job
          (Laura F.)

I would not have subscribed again except for your free three month subscription reminded me how great this list really is. Thanks, and I won't leave again!
          (Chris D.)

I like the lists, of course, but what really sells me on your newsletter is the "Too Much Fun Links". What a gas........
          (John H.)

I love everything Top 5 does!
          (Janis W.)

I have a deadline and have been working 24/7, and my 15 min breaks are only clubtop5 and the too much fun links, it is so good it helps me keep it up going, so you deserve the money. thanks for everything!
          (Uriel T.)

This subscription costs like 1/20th of what i'm worth, being poor sucks. but I can't give up my ruminations.
          (Chad W.)

Sign me up for another year, daddy.
          (Chester N.)

Looking forward to another year. Keep up the good work.
          (Chris L.)

Every day Top 5 gives a young, single, attractive woman exactly what she needs... 15 (sometimes 16, 17 or 25!) when she's only promised 5.
          (Kyla S.)

I really need my Top5 and my Ruminations!
          (Kent J.)

Chris, I have enjoyed your list for, shit, 8 or 10 years. I remember when it was free. Today's list made me do it... Here is my money...willingly after all this time!
          (Lisa H.)

LOVE it.
          (Stavros M.)

Great site! Keep up the good and often hilarious work!
          (Maree G.)

You rule!
          (Lee S.)

Thanks for lots of laughs!
          (Jim C.)

Love the daily laughs!
          (Deborah L.)

I'm Lovin not McDonalds...TOP FIVE!
          (Anita W.)

You are most entertaining.
          (Mark G.)

Thanks for all the chuckles along the way.
          (Steve G.)

Looking forward to more yucks and laffs!
          (John s.)

Love the Ruminations!
          (Francis F.)

Top Five is awesome!
          (Victoria W.)

Keep the funny stuff coming!!!
          (Frank I.)

I'm addicted. Thanks for the laughs!
          (Nicholas S.)

Keep up the great stuff!
          (Jeromy H.)

Love reading both Top 5 and Rumenations daily. Keep up the great work.
          (Forrest H.)

You rock! ...usually
          (Darren G.)

Thanks for keeping me sane. Well, more or less.
          (Jane R.)

          (Janet H.)

I'm lovin' it
          (Ed P.)

After giving all thing's carefull consideration, I have decided to say "Screw the orphanage donation", and instead re-subcribe my Top Five membership. I hope they understand.
          (Rod C.)

Our whole family loves TopFive, keep up the great work!
          (Jennifer B.)

Ok, I'm a sheep. I'll rejoin the flock.
          (John M.)

OK, ya got me back. I had been "meaning" to renew and truth be told, I have missed all the extras.
          (Robert Y.)

Really great! I look forward to receiving my list every day!
          (Jessica R.)

screw it. do it. renew it. thanks for the laughs.
          (Dwight B.)

Been a ClubTopFive subscriber for two years. Makes me wet my pants periodically but is always funny nonetheless.
          (Jeremy S.)

Another year of fun and frivoloty for such a cheep price...only in Amerika...kool...
          (Timothy P.)

Thanks for the years of entertainment...I'm looking forward to many more!
          (Beth M.)

Hi Chris! Times are still a bit tight but this was such a great deal, I had to renew. I'm considering it a Christmas present to myself. Thank you for all your hard work.
          (Cindy J.)

Chris, I frequently don't have time to read my Top Five lists, but when I do I frequently find them forward-worthy. Anyway, for bringing me so much free laughter I think you deserve a reward -- so here's my subscription.
          (Jim L.)

Keep it comin', Chris! ;-)
          (Linda O.)

Top5 rocks, but it would rock better if you used any of my submissions!
          (William M.)

I'm Hooked! Thanks.
          (Donald G.)

Love you guys!
          (Seth G.)

Rock on.
          (David H.)

Thank you thank you thank you thank you.
          (Benjamin R.)

Woo hoo! More TopFive!
          (Tom M.)

What??? Me not renew? I'd just as soon have Gilbert Gottfreid & Fran Drescher as roommates!
          (Lynn W.)

Great Stuff...we use it everyday!
          (Charles P.)

Love ya!
          (Tim B.)

Hey, not every small business owner amuses thousands of friends on a regular basis. Thanks Chris!
          (Jami M.)

Thanks for the years and years and years of laughs--we appreciate it!
          (Beth M.)

Club TopFive is the most fun I've had since my cross-eyed sister tried to give me an enema!!
          (Barry S.)

I love you guys!
          (Kevin P.)

Love this!! Thanks!
          (Renee S.)

No regrets, baby!
          (Brett C.)

I *love* my Top 5 - have been a reader since 1997!
          (Elizabeth U.)

Kick ass!
          (Steven A.)

ClubTop5 continues to be one of the most amusing things in my life. Thanks for making me laugh so often.
          (Karen M.)

Keep it coming!
          (Julie P.)

I can't even remember when I joined -- it's been so long -- but you and the gang continue to make me laugh every day. Thanks!
          (David G.)

Hey Chris!!! Again, Keep up the great work. You are an american hero.
          (Rick K.)

I'm unemployed but love Top Five -- the smiles help smooth over those bad days. This is my only theraputic splurge, ha!
Thanks again.

          (Cindy D.)

Really enjoy the top5!
          (Jean V.)

I enjoy the list.
          (Phillip S.)

Great stuff.
          (Robert Q.)

          (Melanie C.)

Love the Top5. Looking forward to yet more. :)
          (Frank B.)

Love Top 5!
          (Kathy P.)

Happy to re-subscribe Chris!!
          (John C.)

Bring on the laughs!
          (Mark B.)

Keep it coming, big guy!
          (Marlene S.)

Great Stuff.....Keep rolling on...
          (William F.)

Thanks for all the laughs.
          (Carey D.)

Thanks and keep me laffin'.
          (Dale D.)

Keep up the Lord's work. As humans, we are slowly but surely "seriousingly" driving ourselves to extinction.
          (Steve F.)

Love you guys!! (well, not in THAT way!)
          (Talbott S.)

I'm re-upping Chris White, so you better keep it funny!
          (Sherrie B.)

Can't live without you!
          (Deborah C.)

$17.95? What the heck. You're worth it.
          (Bart S.)

Give me more of that! :o)
          (Grant G.)

Keep up the funny stuff--almost as good as Weekly World News!! but that only comes out once a week!! =)
          (John S.)

Please extend subscription another year. I enjoy the humor.
          (Jason L.)

Love your stuff - especially the Ruminations. Keep up the good work!
          (Ethan T.)

The new Ruminations format gets rave reviews! I print these out and bring them home, everybody likes them.
          (Larry D.)

Thanks for the ruminations. Some times they almoset make sense. good thing we have a sense of humor.
          (Don S.)

I just want you to know that I think some of these ruminations are hilarious. Please tell all your contributors to keep up the good work.
          (Liz S.)

I have to tell you that the Ruminations of the Day are my favorite part of this subscription. I sometimes find myself speed reading the top five list just to get down to the RotD. Where can I get more Ruminations? Is there an upgrade to my subscription I can do to see more?
          (Pat P.)

It's always a pleasure to read your five too.
          (J. Jing)

Your lists always brighten my day. Thanks!
          (Richard M.)

I Luv Club Rum.
          (Rose R.)

Keep up the good work. I really enjoy the daily chuckle(s.)
          (David B.)

Keep it coming!!
          (Phillip H.)

Thanks for a great site.
          (Baldeo S.)

Good stuff!
          (John D.)

Great job!
          (Lawrence D.)

Top 5 is great, but you need more lists about monkeys and underpants. Such as "Top 5 worst things to find in your underpants" or "Top 5 reasons monkeys don't wear underpants."
          (Alesia S.)

I really enjoy your lists. I think you're worth it. Keep up the good work. Wish I were wittier and could be a contributor.
          (Cynthia M.)

Thanks for the laughs.
          (Anita W.)

Really enjoy the top5!
          (Jean V.)

Just wanted to say how much I look forward to reading Ruminations every morning. I have always loved Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy, so it's great to have my daily dose. Thanks for creating this site!
          (Heather K.)

Well, you know you've been around this list a while when you remember the Rumination from the archive. Today was my first. I always look forward to your lists. Keep up the great work!
          (Eric B.)

I'm a new Ruminations subscriber and I love this mailing. Now....I want to meet all these interesting people. I love the way = their minds work.
          (Arlene L.)

In all seriousness, I have never laughed longer nor harder when I read TopFive material. You guys are the funniest thing since President Clinton - and to us Europeans; that's funny.
          (Terry E.)

ruminations always throw me into hysterics, but september 27th's beat just about everything. i was about to pee my pants. just wanted to thank you guys for that! I just wanted to let everyone at top 5 know that the humor is greatly appreciated!

Just wanted to let you know that I LOVE ruminations. I don't subscribe to anything else. Thank you for doing a great job editing out the bad stuff and sharing the gems. Brilliant! I really wish I could come up with a rumination, but I can't. The first sentences are always easy to come up with . It's those darned second sentences that just blow my mind. Shame.
Anyway, here's one 28 year old female who thinks you guys are the greatest thing since.......whatever.
Don't stop doing this!! Ever! Please.
Thank You sincerely!!!

          (Cherise A.)

Please re-publish Ruminations from July 1998 up to the present (yes even including your ruminations of the past ten seconds). They're all great; I'm addicted.

Love the lists. Looking foward to Star Wars lists this May.
          (Laurence S.)

Viva Los Top 5!
          (John N.)

Just wanted to send a "great job" for today's list and all of the contributions. Several made me laugh out loud - all of the contributors are to be congratulated. Keep up the good work!
          (Kirsten S.)

Perhaps you will be at least semi-satisfied to know that people like me think that you are one of the ones who contribute to the general joy of life. Rock on,
          (Jeff P.)

While I find some of your stuff offensive, It's also almost always funny. For some strange reason that gives it some redeeming social value in my book.
          (Keith T.)

Your TopFive 16 Reasons Why You're Not a Cardinal is the best thing I've ever read about my faith. Priceless!!!!!
          (Janice C.)

I"m not into this type of humor. Which made the list all the funnier. Great job all.
          (Michael R.)

This is fantastic! "Why we've never insulted you" is really funny. I'm Irish, Catholic, Italian, Trech-watchin D&D-playin, cigarette-smokin' transplanted Yankee in North Carolina. Keep up the great work!
          (JoAnna L.)

this is possibly the best topfive i've read. i'm not a club5 member yet, but i think i might have to sign up now.
          (Colleen K.)

Duuuuuude! Your "Stoner Inventions" list rules! Between "Binaca-flavored Visine" and "Supply Side Economics", I always bust a gut reading that list.
          (Scott V.)

BRAVO! for today's ice cream list. There are some absolutely fabulous ones here. This should be a Hall of Fame list. Keep up the good editing.
          (Phil Y.)

Just to drop a line... I've been reading the top five list for a couple years now, but today's list about the top 50 ways Americans handle danger is the best yet! I loved it! Rock on!
          (Andrew M.)

I just got done with the Bad Pairs of words list. That was pretty damn good. It took severe concentration to not spew a fresh mouthful of bottled water all over the screen when I got to #1. And then I got to the Too Much Fun link. That guy arguing with his girlfriend is priceless. Awesome. There goes an hour, and I still haven't finished it!
And *then* I came back to the RUs and HMs, which were also excellent.
I still (heart) my ClubTop5!

          (Scott V.)

Great service. Thanks. Recent motivational slogans list was very good.
          (Gary R.)

Your "Signs Your Truck Is Too Big" lists were absolutely hysterical. These are already classics!
          (Bonnie T.)

Ah man, I don't usually write so pardon my intrusion... But when I read part II of top Star Wars titles, I found myself laughing as never before. The entry "Up Sith Creek Without a Paduan" is the funniest pun/joke/ whatever you want to call it I've ever read. Keep it coming!!
Thanks for the laughs!

          (Marc N.)

Today's list (Teacher Conference etc) was one of the best I've seen... and the runnersup and honorable mentions were hilarious also. Seems like almost everyone can relate to the topic.
          (Emil P.)

OK, maybe I'm confused by this whole thing because im not an american, but oh good lord it was a funny list!!
          (Edel Q.)

Your "Things One Might Hear on NRA Radio" list was by far one of your all time funniest ever I think.
          (Phil P.)

This [Signs an Airline No Longer Gives a Crap] list was worth the entire year's subscription and *then* some. these people are funny!!!! good crop of folks!
          (Liz M.)

Holy crap man, my cheeks hurt. I haven't laughed at a list as much as I did todays, The Top 16 Interesting Movie Triple Features in....well, never. I think that this list was the funniest one I've ever read.The whole group of contributors deserves congratulations big time. That was one hissarious list, man. I've never felt the need to write about a funny list before, but this one was outstanding. Now....hows about a The Top 16 Interesting Movie Triple Features Part II and III??? I don't think that subject was exhausted. Nice job, great job, fantastic job! And, FYI, I'm not just kissin ass because I've entered into the trials to get onto the big list, I really, really liked today's list, although if this ass kissin helps, so be it.
Thanks for a great list, ass kissin' or not,

          (Bill E.)

          (Beverly R.)

The list of Super Bowl halftime surprises you guys did was tremendous! Getting such a hilarious list on such short notice was truly impressive. If you guys had set out to cure cancer it would be done by now -- or it would at least seem a lot funnier.
Kudos to one and all!

          (Jim C.)

Today's list of Refrigerator Rejects was by far the funniest list in quite awhile! I laughed at every one instead of just my usual...OK, I usually laugh at every one, too, but still an extremely funny list today.
          (J. B.)

Today's Ruminations List (March 31, 1999) has got to be the best yet! Thanks for all the chuckles.
          (Jessica F.)

TopFive Rocks!!! Jennifer K.
          (Brian R.)

Chris, you rock!
          (Jocheszette P.)

          (David M.)
          (Sean W.)
          (Furman F.)

All you guys rock!
          (Ruth M.)

Thanks for the entertainment.
          (Jenelsie M.)

Thanks for the laughs!!!!
          (Wendy B.)

          (Anita W.)
          (Rick B.)

Thanks for the cheap laughs :-)
          (Debra S.)

Thanks for the great product!
          (Kobus M.)

Thanks for the great ezine :)
          (Michelle W.)

Keep up the great work. I love the lists.
          (Frank B.)

Keep up the great work, and I'll keep subscribing!
          (Lori G.)

Keep up the great work!!
          (Vicki A.)

          (Debra S.)
          (Bob S.)
          (Erik B.)
          (Bruce B.)
          (Sarah G.)
          (Brian E.)
          (Linda D.)
          (Steve B.)
          (Craig T.)
          (Peter M.)
          (Anthony C.)
          (Mark F.)
          (Paul S.)
          (Alan B.)
          (Chad W.)
          (Benny H.)
          (Paul T.)
          (Dennis S.)
          (Matthew D.)
          (Bruce S.)
          (Craig T.)
          (Robert S.)

Good evening. It has come to our attention that you, being the owner and editor of this "Top5" internet humor website, are responsible for the content. We have also noticed this daily feature in your website known as "Ruminations". This is where the disappointment sets in. You see, we here at the Coalition adore this feature, share it with others, print them for our friends, use them in conversation to attempt to sound witty without having to be, cuddle with them, take long walks with them, and feed them tasty beef by-product snacks. But by being so technologically advanced, our internet system is thirty years ahead of the rest of the worlds, and the updates stopped coming after your mysterious death and eventual demise of your site in on October 5, 2014. What we are really asking for is an ARCHIVE. All ruminations, young and old, need a home. Please give them this archive, so they can be free for the world to know after thier day is done.

This is all we ask. Thank you.

          (Jak Y.)
Top5 Bomb

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Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.