has been a contributor to TopFive since the dark, dark days of 1994
and he is absolutely thrilled that the days are now just dark.
Maintaining his lazy-ass methodology of only submitting entries to those
topics that reeked of comedy gold, Chris watched horrified, yet detached,
as year after year new contributors passed all his high marks and went on
to personal glory and TopFive IPO riches.
After innocently starting one of the most heated and hated contributor
arguments of all time, "Fat People Eat Too Much,"
Chris quit the contributor chat list before the Internet as we knew it was brought
to its knees. With the only consolation in life being that he was the role model
for Sex and the City's "Mr. Big" character, he threw in the bachelor life,
got married, and had a beautiful baby girl. Chris now spends his time
doting on her and his wife when he's not too busy submitting to TopFive
and leading a life of crime.
Inducted in 2002