TopFive's resident Florence Nightingale, swears her early interest in nursing began long before she
took the wheels off her training bra. Turning her sandpail into an enema bucket, she created havoc
in kitty litter boxes throughout her neighborhood. As the token redhead of TopFive contributors, who raises blood pressures with her feminist rants and strong opinions, she considers it her life's work to "unclog arteries." Dubbed the "master mistress dominatrix of the snappy one-liner," lethal brevity is her forte. Joining the ranks of Top 5 contributors convinced her there are a lot of "mentally unstable people out there and a lot of 'em are Top5 contributors." So she recently returned to college classrooms and research papers, pursuing a psychology degree. Few know that President Clinton has expressed interest in her thesis research "Taser Guns: Enhance Your Sex Life." She owes her humor-writing interest to her grade-school music teacher, who, after hearing her sing, suggested she write.
Inducted in 1999