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June 1, 2007

The Top 16 Celebrity Scandals We'd Like to See

  1. Ashton Kutcher pranks James Gandolfini; finds a horse's head in his bed the next morning.

  2. Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears spend a quiet evening, fully clothed, playing Yahtzee.

  3. Rush Limbaugh is arrested at customs with 30,000 OxyContin pills in a hollowed-out Bible.

  4. Exclusive investigative report: "Dancing With the Stars" does not employ genuine stars!

  5. Paris Hilton becomes infected with the resistant strain of tuberculosis, makes out with the entire population of Las Vegas, then flies to India for a short vacation.

  6. George Thorogood is overheard ordering a strawberry daiquiri.

  7. Ed Begley, Jr. is pulled over by the California Highway Patrol on his way to Vegas for doing 130 in a rented Hummer.

  8. DNA proves Tom and Suri Cruise are not human, not Thetan, and not even related.

  9. Security videos capture a tanked and belligerent Mel Gibson staggering into Steven Spielberg's home and carving "Didn't happen, Jewboy!" into his "Schindler's List" Oscar statuette.

  10. Rosie O'Donnell caught on tape being meek, quiet and pensive.

  11. George Michael is found using a public men's room for, well, peeing.

  12. PETA gets involved when it learns William Shatner's hairpiece is made of tribble fur.

  13. Video surfaces showing long-time vegetarian Pamela Anderson eating a foot-long hot do-- er, never mind.

  14. Angelina adopts a rare, hairless cat; paparazzi get pics of her getting out of the car and showing her bald pussy to everyone.

  15. Michael Moore is exposed as the DNA donor for the newest arrival in the Cheney clan.

    and the Number 1 Celebrity Scandal We'd Like to See...

  16. While bulking up for "Bridget Jones III," Renee Zellweger accidentally devours Calista Flockhart in a freak Hollandaise accident.

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Selected from 127 submissions from 45 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Richard Skora, Columbus, OH -- 1, 5, 14 (12th #1/Hat trick!)
  • Stephen A. Segall, Poplar Bluff, MO -- 2
  • Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA -- 3 Website / Hall of Famer
  • Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 4
  • Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA -- 4
  • Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA -- 5 Hall of Famer
  • Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 6
  • Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 7, 11 Hall of Famer
  • Ian Dauphinee, Calgary, AB, Canada -- 7
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 8 Hall of Famer
  • Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA -- 9
  • Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 10 Hall of Famer
  • David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA -- 10
  • Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO -- 12
  • Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX -- 13
  • Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT -- 15
  • Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 16
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Topic, Banner Tag
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Scandal, New York, NY -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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