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WWSD -- What Would Scooby Doo?

December 29, 1999


The Top 12 Things Overheard in the Year 2999


    1. "Thank you for calling Epson. All operators are currently helping other customers. You have been on hold for approximately... one... thousand... years...."

    2. "Senator Thurmond, your wife is on line 3."

    3. "Another Christmas like this, and Amazon.com just may turn a profit!"

    4. "Chris White, you have been defrosted to stand judgement for the recently discovered document known as The Rejected Hurricane Name List."

    5. "I found it on the Galactinet -- I think it's a picture of how humans used to reproduce."

    6. "Hi, I'm Dick Clark, here to count you down into the new millennium!"

    7. "I did *not* have cybersex with that netbot."

    8. "Okay, I'll go over it one more time: It doesn't really start until January 1, *3001* because..."

    9. "Middle East peace talks have been put on hold once again..."

    10. "25,000 zelgers, same as on Mars."

    11. "We at NASA cannot be discouraged by this recent failure, and we are fully confident that our next manned mission to Mars will be a complete success."

      and the Number 1 Thing Overheard in the Year 2999...

    12. "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of Microsoft..."

Check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!




Selected from 109 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Scott Sistek, Seattle, WA -- 1 (2nd #1) Email
  • Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 2 Hall of Famer
  • Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 3, 7 Email
  • Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 4, 5 Email
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 4, 12 Email
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 5, 7 Email / Website
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 5, 11
  • LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA -- 5, 11 Hall of Famer
  • Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA -- 5
  • Ken Shinodo, Bend, OR -- 5
  • Mark Schmidt, Amsterdam, Holland -- 5 Email
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 6, 9 Email
  • Rachel Blubaugh, Lewisville, TX -- 7, 11 Email / Website
  • Sue Prifogle Otte, Rushville, IN -- 7, 11 Email
  • Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 7 Email
  • John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 7 Email / Website
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 7 Email
  • Julie K. Stahlhut, Kalamazoo, MI -- 7 Email / Website (Rookie!)
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia -- 8
  • Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 9 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA -- 9 Email / Website
  • Rob Wolf, Seattle, WA -- 10 Email
  • Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD -- 11 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Topic Email
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- Topic Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Almighty Rabbi Crut -- Banner tag Website
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, Ithaca, NY -- HM list name Email / Website
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Zager & Evans, Lincoln, NE -- Ambience     (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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