This is your list on drugs. Any questions?
December 28, 1999
The Top 14 Signs Your Neighbor
is Preparing a Y2K Bunker
- He keeps asking if your daughters are "good breeding stock."
- Her excuse for running over your dog? "There was a freeze-dried ice cream sale at Wal-Mart."
- You catch him throwing cans of Spam into what you thought was an old tree stump.
- Asks if you know anyone who would like five thousand bags of topsoil.
- Turret with gun barrel now poking up from his kid's sandbox.
- Fido's been getting into their flower bed for years, but this is his first land mine detonation.
- He's throwing a New Years Eve party for "all fertile women ages 18-35."
- What looks like a cement truck is now filling her empty pool with pork 'n' beans.
- For weeks, he's been trying to develop a taste for his own urine.
- Shows you her new cookbook, "450 Recipes for Rice-a-Roni."
- Says he's building a wine cellar -- but the trucks are delivering malt liquor and Ripple.
- Says his new shotgun is for "keeping mutants away from the womenfolk."
- Abandons his Noah's Ark Recreation project and to slaughter and salt-cure the pairs of animals instead.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Neighbor is Preparing a Y2K Bunker...
- "Kidnap a Hooters waitress and repopulate the Earth" seems like an odd New Year's resolution.
Check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 118 submissions from 42 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Greg Pettit, Houston, TX -- 1 (9th #1) Email
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 2 Email / Website
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 3 Email
- Andrew Thomas, Omaha, NE -- 4, 10
- Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 5 Email
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 6, 14
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 7, 8, HM list nameEmail / Hall of Famer
- Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia -- 8
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 9 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 10 Email
- John Gennity, Woodhaven, NY -- 11 Email
- Lisa Lavoie, Waltham, MA -- 12 Email
- Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA -- 13 Email
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Topic Email
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- Runner Up list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Brian Auten, Tecumseh, MI -- Banner Tag Email / Website
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- The Beatles, Liverpool, England -- Ambience (explanation)