Aim at assailant's face, press button and spray.
December 27, 1999
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Today's list was compiled from entries
sent in by our ClubTop5 subscribers.
The Top 14 Things Overheard
at the Office Holiday Party
- "So I said, 'Irv, if you don't put down that damn automatic rifle, you can just forget about that raise'."
- "President Clinton, the copier is not a toy."
- "To all employees: Please go to xmasparty.com for your free holiday drink."
- "Hot hors d'oeuvres for 1,000: $2500; Santa Suit for the CEO: $50; Hearing them whine for a raise: priceless!"
- "Wow! Do you invite ALL your new interns to see the oval office?"
- "What do they mean, 'year end profit'? We're an Internet company!"
- "Oh, puh-leeze! I'll bet he put the copier on zoom 200%."
- "Damn!!! Mistletoe everywhere and *I've* got that sexual harassment charge hanging over me."
- "The company policy is 'No Office Romances' -- it says nothing about cheap, meaningless sex on the boss's desk."
- "Here's your Zima, Mr. Gore."
- "When the boss called me into his office to give me a pink slip, I didn't think he wanted me to *wear* it."
- "Don't worry, we have plenty of time to get the Nuclear Missile Launch program Y2K compliant, besides, I always code better after a few drinks."
- "Why, Mr. Gates! Another copy of Windows! You shouldn't have."
and the Number 1 Thing Overheard at the Office Holiday Party...
- "Oh, man, Bob's making photocopies of his ass agai-- BOB, WAIT!! THAT'S THE SHREDDER!!!"
Check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 153 submissions from 80 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 1 (Woo-Hoo!)
- Lynda Burney, Costa Mesa, CA -- 2
- Matthew Van Opens, Kensoha, WI -- 3
- Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 4
- Scott Naness, Staten Island, NY -- 5
- Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD -- 6
- Cheri Hoyt, Binghamton, NY -- 7
- Naomi Rose, Farmingdale, NY -- 7
- Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ -- 8
- Evan Simper, Goblin Valley, UT -- 9
- Alexis Iglauer, Cologne, Germany -- 10
- Elizabeth Thompson, Atlanta, GA -- 11
- Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ -- 12
- Colin Walker, Bellevue, WA -- 13
- Bonnie Davis, Indianapolis, IN -- 14
- Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA -- Topic
- Lori Carmona, Manassas, VA -- Banner tag
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Runner Up list name
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- Honorable Mention list name
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor
- Johnny Paycheck, Greenfield, OH -- Ambience (explanation)