This year's must-have toy!
December 21, 1999
The Top 14 Reasons It's Better to Shop Online
- No need to saw off that damned house arrest anklet.
- Wobbly ISP performance not nearly as annoying as wobbly shopping cart wheel.
- No more blasts of perfume from the sample counter -- until iSmell becomes available, that is.
- The terms of your parole prohibit you from coming within 500 yards of a real Victoria's Secret store.
- Don't have to worry about giving in to that Orange Julius temptation.
- Since you haven't been able to get through your front door in years, Godiva.com is a Godsend.
- Within seconds of buying grandma a large-print bible, you're back to downloading that sweet, sweet porn.
- Can continue to test your theory you can live without leaving your specially designed "BioChair 2.
- Can openly consult the voices in your head when buying that gift for Jodie Foster.
- Less contact with other humans means fewer on your list to be gunned down at a later date.
- You can finally get that kidney Uncle Bob always wanted.
- In a store, you can't pleasure yourself watching Tommy Lee put it to Pam while your purchase is being wrapped.
- No insensitive idiots razzing you about that place you tuck your wallet when you shop naked.
and the Number 1 Reason It's Better to Shop Online...
- When your name is Dick Buttlips, it's better to not have to hand your Visa to a 16 year old sales clerk.
Check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 105 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- 1 (Woohoo! 1st #1!)
- Boyd Johnson, San Diego, CA -- 2 Email
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 3 Email
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 3, HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 4, 8 Email
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 5 Email / Hall of Famer
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 6, 8 Email
- Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 7 Email
- Beth Black, Misawa City, Japan -- 9, 11 Email / Email / Website
- Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 12 Email
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 13
- Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 13 Email / Website
- Chris Walker, Calimesa, CA -- 14 Email / Website
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
- Rob Wolf, Seattle, WA -- Runner Up list name Email
- Norman Lazarus, Kissimmee, FL -- Topic
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- The Captain and Tennille, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience (explanation)