Banned in 17 countries!
December 20, 1999
The Top 15 Disclaimers Found on Toy Boxes
- No beanies or babies harmed in the manufacture of this product.
- For children ages 4-10, or really wasted adults.
- Not to be confused with "Poke You Man" by Adult Inflatable Products, Ltd.
- Caution: Care Bears do not actually care very much.
- Warning: This toy produces substantially less childish glee in real life than it does in the TV commercial.
- Failure to fall immediately to your knees in gratitude and eternally thank parents for shelling out $400 and waiting in line behind a smelly woman from Jersey City for two hours to *get* your Sega Dreamcast -- hours to *get* your Sega Dreamcast -- especially when you've already got a Playstation and a box full of games that are now headed for the next garage sale -- may result in bodily injury.
- Syringe and vaccine sold separately.
- Do not stare at product. Hey! You're doing it now! Cut that out!!
- In case of breakage, scream until dad buys a replacement.
- Do not attempt to combine your Ultra Mega Warrior with your cat to make Ultra Mega Cat Warrior.
- For eternal use only.
- For best results, consume hard liquor prior to assembly.
- Talk to your doctor before using Xenical Barbie. Xenical Barbie not intended for children less than 20% above their ideal weight. Discontinue use if oily leakage occurs.
- Replacement blades and toes not included.
and the Number 1 Disclaimer Found on a Toy Box...
- Warning: Although technically a game, Parcheesi sucks.
Check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 136 submissions from 47 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 1 (33rd #1) Email / Hall of Famer
- John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 2 Email / Website
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 2
- Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL -- 3
- Ann Rosenfeld, Austin, TX -- 4
- Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 5 Email
- Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 6 Email / Website
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 7, 15
- Scott Sistek, Seattle, WA -- 8 Email
- Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI -- 9 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Kevin Freels, Burbank, CA -- 9 Email / Website
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 10
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 11 Email
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 11 Email / Website
- Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA -- 12 Email / Website
- Rob Wolf, Seattle, WA -- 13 Email
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 14 Email
- James Holt, Knoxville, TN -- Topic
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- Runner Up list name Email
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- Honorable Mention list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Goo Goo Dolls, Buffalo, NY -- Ambience (explanation)