Available by prescription only.
December 17, 1999
The Top 15 Disclaimers Found on Toy Boxes
- Use as a marital aid nullifies warranty.
- Warning: This fad will disappear in 6 weeks.
- Uranium-236 not included.
- As with real appliances, this thing *will* burn your careless ass.
- Some dismemberment may occur.
- Do not purchase this toy at all. Put it back on the shelf! NOW!! Just walk away, timid little man.
- Harmful if swallowed with massive quantities of vodka.
- No disrespect intended.
- Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously.
- Use as an actual terrorist device not recommended.
- NOTE: The makers of "Queen Amidala's Naboo Dream Palace" assume no responsibility for the quality of the movie which spawned it.
- Some assimilation required. Resistance is futile.
- Manufacturer not responsible for accidents involving EZ-Bake Oven and Suicide-Watch Barbie.
- Caution: "Mack Daddy Ken" is anatomically exaggerated and may excite or frighten little girls and create self esteem problems in little boys.
and the Number 1 Disclaimer Found on a Toy Box...
- Do not place Captain Viagra within 5"-7" of an open flame.
Check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 136 submissions from 47 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Alan Wagner, Pittsburg, KS -- 1 (3rd #1)
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- HM list name (10th #1) Email
- Lisa Lavoie, Waltham, MA -- 2, 11 Email
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 3, 5 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Jeffrey Anbinder, Ithaca, NY -- 4 Email / Website
- Laurie Northrup, Clinton, NY -- 6, 13, 15 Website
- Keith Martin, Atlanta, GA -- 7 Email
- Christopher Troise, New York, NY -- 8 Email
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 9, Runner Up list name Email / Website
- Andrew Thomas, Omaha, NE -- 10
- Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI -- 11 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 12 Email / Hall of Famer
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 13
- Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 14 Email
- Mark Levine, Los Angeles, CA -- 14 Email
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 15
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Banner Tag Email
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- Runner Up list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- Runner Up list name Email / Hall of Famer
- James Holt, Knoxville, TN -- Topic
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Mighty Purple, New Haven, CT -- Ambience (explanation)