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December 9, 1999

The Top 13 Reasons to Go to Work Naked

    1. Your boss is always yelling "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"

    2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

    3. Inventive way to finally meet that hottie in Human Resources.

    4. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

    5. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

    6. You want to see if it's like the dream.

    7. So that -- with a little help from Muzak -- you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.

    8. Splattering grease from deep fryer is really hard to get out of your uniform.

    9. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

    10. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work stoned.

    11. Because setting the nation's monetary policy and keeping Andrea Mitchell satisfied requires a delicate balance.

    12. Keeps that snooty Ruth Bader-Ginsberg on her toes.

      and the Number 1 Reason to Go to Work Naked...

    13. Because the President insists when Hillary's out of town.

Check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

Selected from 156 submissions from 57 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 1 (9th #1)
  • Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 2
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 3 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • David Kass, Queens, NY -- 4, 11
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 5, 12 Email
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 6 Email
  • Laurie Northrup, Clinton, NY -- 7 Website
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 8, 13 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, Ithaca, NY -- 9 Email / Website
  • Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia -- 9
  • Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 10 Email
  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 12, RU/HM names Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA -- Topic
  • Curt Cutting, Santa Monica, CA -- Banner Tag
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- List moderator
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience     (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.