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Lock it in -- and rip the knob off!

December 3, 1999

Today's topic was the idea of the fine
young men and women of Ms. Barb Silvey's class
at Rogers High School in Spokane, WA!

The Top 13 Signs You're Addicted to MTV

    1. Your daily mantra: "Carson Daly is *soooo* talented."

    2. Watching "Road Rules" reruns has begun to affect your job -- stalking Martha Quinn.

    3. You're still P.O.'d you didn't win John Cougar's little pink house -- and you're gonna make life miserable for that loser who did, if it's the last thing you do.

    4. You invent a sex life just so you can talk to Adam and Dr. Drew.

    5. Your master's thesis? "Puck's Eviction: A necessary move, or the evil plan of that whiny little bitch, Judd."

    6. Although you could make a killing on eBay, you refuse to part with your beloved J.J. Jackson action figure.

    7. You think The Real World is just that.

    8. You lost a 10 grand bet on the "Rock-N-Jock Celebrity Kickball/Trampoline/Spelling Bee Challenge" when Pamela Anderson somehow spelled "endocrine" during a backflip.

    9. Your bracelet says, "WWPD", for "What Would Puck Do?"

    10. You communicate exclusively in hip-hop slang, even though you're a white geek from Idaho.

    11. You can't understand why Ms. Silvey rejected your term paper comparing and contrasting "Catcher In The Rye" with TLC's "No Scrubs."

    12. Your IQ is... Your IQ is... Your IQ is... 'bout 80.

      and the Number 1 Sign You're Addicted to MTV...

    13. You refer to your grandmother's funeral as "Nana Unplugged."

                P.S. Hey, Ms. Silvey's class -- Who's your daddy?

Check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

Selected from 103 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 1, 5 (2nd #1) Email / Website
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 2 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Curt Cutting, Santa Monica, CA -- 3
  • Patrick Major, Dallas, OR -- 4, 10 Email
  • Andrew Thomas, Omaha, NE -- 5
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 5
  • Christopher Troise, New York, NY -- 5 Email
  • Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 6, 9
  • Joe DiPietro, Brooklyn, NY -- 7 Email / Website
  • John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 7 Email / Website
  • Mark Schmidt, Amsterdam, Holland -- 7 Email
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 7 Email / Website
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 8 Email
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 11, 12 Email
  • Rachel Blubaugh, Lewisville, TX -- 13 Email / Website
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, Ithaca, NY -- RU list name, Banner Tag Email / Website
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- Honorable Mention list name Email / Website
  • Ms. Silvey's class, Rogers High School, Spokane, WA -- Topic
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- List moderator
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Beck Hansen, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience     (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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