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Do not immerse in vodka.

December 1, 1999


~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Arnold Schwarzeneggar's new movie, "End of Days",
is about Satan coming to Manhattan to find a wife,
settle down, and start a family.


The Top 14 Signs Satan is Loose in Manhattan


    1. The murder rate has actually gone *down*.

    2. Red guy with horns standing outside The Today Show's window with a sign that says, "Katie, I love you!"

    3. Leona Helmsley turns up pregnant.

    4. www.gnashingteeth.com just had a $15 Billion IPO.

    5. Wanton violence... um, no.
      That godforsaken odor... ah, scratch that.
      The undead walking the streets... er, maybe not.
      I give up -- what *are* the signs??

    6. Proposed new subway "H" line would run up Second Avenue, take a sharp turn, and head into the Earth's molten center.

    7. David Letterman's studio mysteriously warms up to a balmy 50 degrees.

    8. Times Square is looking eerily wholesome these days.
      (Oops! That's a sign DISNEY is loose in Manhattan.)

    9. Guys with hooves and horns, engulfed by fire, are out hailing cabs -- and still getting picked up before Danny Glover.

    10. Cab drivers suddenly speaking in a foreign tongue -- English.

    11. Apartment rentals in Hell's Kitchen way, WAY up.

    12. Newest Broadway smash: Beelzebublin'!

    13. Relieved New Yorkers now have someone they can feel good about voting for in the upcoming Senate race.

      and the Number 1 Sign Satan is Loose in Manhattan...

    14. New total: 666 Starbucks locations!

Check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!




Selected from 121 submissions from 45 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 1 (Woohoo! 1st #1!) Email / Website
  • Ken Shinodo, Bend, OR -- 1 (8th #1)
  • Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 2 Email
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 3, 4, RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA -- 5 Hall of Famer
  • Tim McKemy, Chandler, AZ -- 5 Email
  • Mark Schmidt, Amsterdam, Holland -- 5 Email
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 6, Topic Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 7, 9 Email
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 7 Email / Website
  • Lisa Lavoie, Waltham, MA -- 8, 13 Email
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 8 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Bo Williams, Huntsville, AL -- 10
  • Christopher Troise, New York, NY -- 11 Email
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 12
  • Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 13 Hall of Famer
  • Chris Gleason, Gaithersburg, MD -- 14
  • Laurie Northrup, Clinton, NY -- Banner Tag Website
  • Jeff Rabinowitz, Denver, CO -- Honorable Mention list name Email
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Billy Joel, Hicksville, Long Island, NY -- Ambience     (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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