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ClubTop5 -- proud owner of a gas station in St. Louis!
January 12, 2004

The Top 15 Things Overheard
on Britney Spears' Honeymoon

    1. "Hurry, driver, get us back to our hotel room before she sobers up!"

    2. "Yes, it's romantic to carry me over the threshold. I'm just saying it would be *more* romantic if your pants were still on."

    3. "Am *too* a virgin! It doesn't count when you do it standing up."

    4. "Okay, Jason, I gave it up. Now when are you gonna introduce me to Jerry Seinfeld?"

    5. "Move! Go pee in the sink; I gotta puke again!"

    6. "If anyone should see any reason why these two should not be wed -- other than their parents, their agents, their immediate families, struggling musical artists who have way more talent, a public that has grown tired of these kinds of ridiculous publicity stunts and humanity-at-large -- speak now or forever hold your peace."

    7. "Hey, why is the bride on the cake dressed like a slut?"

    8. "How long do you think this will last?"
      "Ten what, honey?"
      "9... 8...."

    9. "You may now kiss the bride. And when Madonna's done, the groom can have his turn."

    10. "Jason, you had me at 'I'm a TopFive contributor.'"

    11. "You didn't use a condom?!? Well, don't worry -- we can get *that* mistake annulled, too."

    12. "Well, we still had more sex than Liza and David Gest and Michael and Lisa Marie combined."

    13. "Hello, room service? I have a complaint: Someone has already eaten my Pop Tart."

    14. "It's not pierced; it was wired shut by my record label."

      and the Number 1 Thing Overheard on Britney Spears' Honeymoon...

    15. "You are soooo cute. Look at you! You are absolutely adorable. You are-- I'LL BE RIGHT OUT, JASON... I'M IN THE BATHROOM!"

Check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

Selected from 105 submissions from 38 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Pat Sajak, Los Angeles, CA -- 1 (4th #1) Website
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 2 Hall of Famer
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 3 Hall of Famer
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 4, 13 Hall of Famer
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 4 Website
  • Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 5
  • Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 6
  • Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 6
  • Elliott Schiff, Allentown, PA -- 7
  • Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 8
  • Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- 9, 10
  • Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 11
  • Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 12, Runner Up list name
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 12 Website / Hall of Famer
  • Meg Silvern, Wiesbaden, Germany -- 12
  • Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada -- 14, 15
  • Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX -- Topic
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag
  • Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA -- Honorable Mention list name
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Gerry Mulligan, New York, NY -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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