Preferred by 4 out of 5 plagiarists
May 18, 2000
The Top 12 Big Surprises in CBS' Jesus Mini-Series
("Is it getting hot in here?" version)
- The Last Supper is served by Chippendale waiters.
- Loyal followers hummed "I am stuck on Band-Aid brand, 'cause our Lord's stuck on that cross."
- To keep TV-G rating, instead of nailed to the cross Christ is just slapped around a bit.
- Jesus played "footsies" with Peter during the Last Supper.
- "Virgin" Mary? Sure, but only because she had no vodka in her when she conceived.
- That camera angle when Sharon Stone as Mary Magdalene uncrossed and crossed her legs.
- Christ was actually crucified for flipping off Pontius Pilate in a bar.
- The Apostle Martha adds a lovely sprig of baby's breath to the crown of thorns.
- Literal interpretation of Scripture by producers has Jesus actually entering the City of Jerusalem on *his* ass.
- Those eighteen years of Jesus' life that the bible never talks about? Strip clubs and telemarketing scams.
- Mary Magdalene circumcised Jesus with her teeth.
and the Number 1 Big Surprise in CBS' "Jesus" Mini-Series...
- Joseph: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
Selected from 143 submissions from 53 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 1 (23rd #1)
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 2
- John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 3, 11
- M.J. Finan, Cleveland, OH -- 4
- Jeffrey Anbinder, Ithaca, NY -- 5, 8
- Rachel Blubaugh, Lewisville, TX -- 6, 9
- Beth Gaynor, Columbus, OH -- 7
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 10
- Colleen Tharme, Mount Clemens, MI -- 12
- Kevin Freels, Burbank, CA -- Topic
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor
- Jesus Jones, London, England -- Ambience
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- The Jesus & Mary Chain, Glasgow, Scotland -- Ambience (explanation)
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