December 20, 2001
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Today's list was compiled from suggestions sent
in by our lovely and talented ClubTop5 subscribers.
The Top 17 Signs Your Boss is Really Stupid
- Schedules emergency visit to urologist after overhearing office gossip regarding "Peter principle" and "downsizing."
- Answers every question with "yes," "no," or "reply hazy, try again later."
- Finally traded in the company fleet of Ford Pintos -- for Ford Explorers.
- You've just received permission to leave for your 4th fact-finding trip to learn about "Tolkien Ring Networks" this week.
- Thinks that by monitoring your e-mail he... is the best loved, nicest and by far the most brilliant boss to work for.
- Believes that Britney really *is* a virgin.
- You send him a memo saying that for Halloween, you're coming as The Invisible Man -- then you don't come in at all. The next day, he promotes you for your ingenuity.
- He's attempting to sleep his way to the top, starting with the CEO's wife.
- You receive yet *another* fruit basket after calling in the death of your fifth grandmother this year alone.
- Bases the company's budget on the $1,000 each employee was going to receive for forwarding Bill Gates's e-mail.
- Despite your constant reminders, the moron can't seem to stop counting at five.
- Thinks that "downsizing" means ordering a small drink and fries with his burger.
- Had the network customized so that he can print confidential documents directly to the shredder.
- Took her a month to figure out that the desk lamp wasn't a "Clapper" like on the night stand at home.
- No need to ask for a raise; just approach him repeatedly and ask him if he has two tens for a five.
- Ever since he approved your "On-Site Telecommuter" idea, you get to go to the office wearing a robe, Superman underpants, and bunny slippers.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Boss is Really Stupid...
- During meetings, constantly turns to Jesus Gonzalez from Marketing and asks, "What would YOU do?"
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
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Selected from 378 submissions from 193 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- John-Mark Mahnkey, Pullman, WA -- 1 (Woo-hoo!)
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 2
- Carolyn Rosser, Washington, DC -- 3
- Brett Wood, Overland Park, KS -- 4
- Gretchen Stille, Brookfield, IL -- 5
- Phil Bentley, Austin, TX -- 6
- Gary Pool, Jefferson City, MO -- 7
- Donald J. Hunter, Houston, TX -- 7
- David Snair, Kent, WA -- 8
- Beth Toll, Phila, PA -- 9
- Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX -- 9
- Matt Dalton, Medford, MA -- 9
- Justin Cascio, Perth Amboy, NJ -- 10
- Audra Whitton, Annandale, VA -- 11
- Rob Miles, whereabouts unknown -- 12
- Bruce K. Skillin, Ocean Park, ME -- 13
- Matt Van Opens, Kenosha, WI -- 14
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 15
- Warren Cheney, Angola, NY -- 16
- Jason C. Levine, Santa Monica, CA -- 17
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA -- Topic (Hall of Famer)
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH -- Banner Tag
- Derek Seabury, Somerville, MA -- Runner Up list name
- Caroline Brown, London, UK -- Honorable Mention list name
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Moloko, Sheffield, Yorkshire, England -- Ambience (explanation)