December 18, 2002
The Top 12 Signs Santa is Sick of Christmas
- Now relies on a quick Google image search to see if you've been naughty.
- Good, bad or on the fence -- *everyone* gets an AOL CD in their stocking this year.
- But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Yadda, yadda, yadda...."
- Sticker on sleigh: "How's my flying? Call 1-800-EAT-SUGARPLUMS"
- Former "Naughty/Nice" databases merged into a single "Whatever" database.
- Turns Ms. Claus out to work the corner next to the Salvation Army bell ringers.
- At midnight on Christmas Eve, gift certificates to Amazon.com magically appear in the e-mail in-boxes of good girls and boys.
- New policy this year: Only strippers allowed on his lap.
- Hey, kid -- them brown lumps in your stocking ain't coal!
- On his personal Christmas list: A George Foreman Grill and "The Ultimate Reindeer Cookbook."
- He's assigned numbers to all the countries on Earth and is doing the odd ones this year and the even ones next year.
and the Number 1 Sign Santa is Sick of Christmas...
- This year's #1 stocking stuffers: Elf heads and Rudolph jerky.
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runner up submissions for this list.
Selected from 119 submissions from 45 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 1, 3 (15th #1) Email
- Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 1, 7 (4th #1)
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 1 (11th #1) Email
- John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 1 (7th #1) Email / Website
- Chuck Sawyer, Rochester, NY -- 1 (2nd #1)
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 2
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 4 Email
- Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX -- 4 Email / Website
- Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA -- 4
- Carolyn Rosser, Washington, DC -- 5
- Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- 6 Website
- John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 8
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 9, RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY -- 10 Email / Website
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 11
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 12 Website
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- Topic
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- HM list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- The Bee Gees, Brisbane, Australia -- Ambience (explanation)