TopFive
  Index
  About Us

  Previous Lists
  Greatest Hits
  Hall of Fame

  You Really Like Us!

  Store    Privacy
  Links!   Contact

Top 5 List RSS feed
What' s this?

Members Only
  ClubTop5
Subscribe

  Top5/ClubTop5

  Little Fivers

Sponsored Links

Natural remedies
for people & pets


Long Lost Friends:
Used/Rare Books


The Bible Online

This site hosted by Dreamhost.com


TopFive.com
Photo by Chester Cinque
December 18, 2002


The Top 12 Signs Santa is Sick of Christmas
(Part I)


    1. Now relies on a quick Google image search to see if you've been naughty.

    2. Good, bad or on the fence -- *everyone* gets an AOL CD in their stocking this year.

    3. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Yadda, yadda, yadda...."

    4. Sticker on sleigh: "How's my flying? Call 1-800-EAT-SUGARPLUMS"

    5. Former "Naughty/Nice" databases merged into a single "Whatever" database.

    6. Turns Ms. Claus out to work the corner next to the Salvation Army bell ringers.

    7. At midnight on Christmas Eve, gift certificates to Amazon.com magically appear in the e-mail in-boxes of good girls and boys.

    8. New policy this year: Only strippers allowed on his lap.

    9. Hey, kid -- them brown lumps in your stocking ain't coal!

    10. On his personal Christmas list: A George Foreman Grill and "The Ultimate Reindeer Cookbook."

    11. He's assigned numbers to all the countries on Earth and is doing the odd ones this year and the even ones next year.

      and the Number 1 Sign Santa is Sick of Christmas...

    12. This year's #1 stocking stuffers: Elf heads and Rudolph jerky.

Join ClubTop5 to check out the
runner up submissions for this list.





Selected from 119 submissions from 45 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 1, 3 (15th #1) Email
  • Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 1, 7 (4th #1)
  • Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 1 (11th #1) Email
  • John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 1 (7th #1) Email / Website
  • Chuck Sawyer, Rochester, NY -- 1 (2nd #1)
  • Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 2
  • Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 4 Email
  • Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX -- 4 Email / Website
  • Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA -- 4
  • Carolyn Rosser, Washington, DC -- 5
  • Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- 6 Website
  • John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 8
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 9, RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY -- 10 Email / Website
  • Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 11
  • Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 12 Website
  • Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- Topic
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- HM list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • The Bee Gees, Brisbane, Australia -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

© Copyright 1994-2010.  All rights reserved.
TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.