December 12, 1997
The Top 16 Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife
- "Sure you'll get your figure back -- we'll just search 1985 where you left it."
- "Keys are on the fridge, honey. I'll see you at the hospital at half-time."
- "Sure, the doctor said you're eating for two - but he didn't mean two orcas."
- "Honey -- Come show the guys your Brando impression!"
- "Roseanne, what have you done with my wife?!"
- "How come you're so much fatter than the other chicks in Lamaze?"
- "Sweetheart, where'd you put that Victoria's Secret catalog?"
- "What's the big deal? If you can handle *me* going in, surely you can handle a baby coming out."
- "Hey, when you're finished pukin' in there, get me a beer, willya?"
- "Why in the *world* would I want to rub your feet?"
- "That's not a bun in the oven -- it's the whole friggin' bakery!"
- "You know, now that you mention it, you *are* getting fat and unattractive."
- "Oh, this is just great! Now, on top of everything else, child support."
- "Yo, Fatass! You're blocking the TV!"
- "No, I don't know where the remote is! Have you looked under your breasts?"
and TopFive's Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife...
- "I know today's your due date, but Larry just got a 10 point buck and that's a reason to celebrate, too."
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 143 submissions from 52 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Jennifer Bieneman, Grand Rapids, MI -- 1 (1st #1!) Email
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA -- 2 Email / Hall of Famer
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL -- 3 Hall of Famer
- Don Swain, Pontiac, MI -- 4 Email
- Denis Rubin, Los Angeles, CA -- 5 Email / Website
- Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA -- 6 Hall of Famer
- Kermit Woodall, Richmond, VA -- 7 Email
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 8, 11 Email / Hall of Famer
- Barry T. Smith, Boulder Creek, CA -- 9 Email / Website
- Jonathan D. Colan, Miami, FL -- 10 Email
- Alan Wagner, Bayside, WI -- 10
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 12 Email
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 13
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 13 Email
- Annie Fisher, Philadelphia, PA -- 14
- Geoff Brown, Farmington Hills, MI -- 15 Email / Website
- William Gray, San Jose, CA -- 15
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 16 Email / Hall of Famer
- Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA -- Topic Email / Website
- Robert Sullivan, Salem, OR -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/moderator Email / Hall of Famer
- Ted Nugent, Detroit, MI -- Ambience