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December 12, 1997


The Top 16 Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife
(Part II)


    1. "Sure you'll get your figure back -- we'll just search 1985 where you left it."

    2. "Keys are on the fridge, honey. I'll see you at the hospital at half-time."

    3. "Sure, the doctor said you're eating for two - but he didn't mean two orcas."

    4. "Honey -- Come show the guys your Brando impression!"

    5. "Roseanne, what have you done with my wife?!"

    6. "How come you're so much fatter than the other chicks in Lamaze?"

    7. "Sweetheart, where'd you put that Victoria's Secret catalog?"

    8. "What's the big deal? If you can handle *me* going in, surely you can handle a baby coming out."

    9. "Hey, when you're finished pukin' in there, get me a beer, willya?"

    10. "Why in the *world* would I want to rub your feet?"

    11. "That's not a bun in the oven -- it's the whole friggin' bakery!"

    12. "You know, now that you mention it, you *are* getting fat and unattractive."

    13. "Oh, this is just great! Now, on top of everything else, child support."

    14. "Yo, Fatass! You're blocking the TV!"

    15. "No, I don't know where the remote is! Have you looked under your breasts?"

      and TopFive's Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife...

    16. "I know today's your due date, but Larry just got a 10 point buck and that's a reason to celebrate, too."

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!




Selected from 143 submissions from 52 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Jennifer Bieneman, Grand Rapids, MI -- 1 (1st #1!) Email
  • Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA -- 2 Email / Hall of Famer
  • John Voigt, Chicago, IL -- 3 Hall of Famer
  • Don Swain, Pontiac, MI -- 4 Email
  • Denis Rubin, Los Angeles, CA -- 5 Email / Website
  • Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA -- 6 Hall of Famer
  • Kermit Woodall, Richmond, VA -- 7 Email
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 8, 11 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Barry T. Smith, Boulder Creek, CA -- 9 Email / Website
  • Jonathan D. Colan, Miami, FL -- 10 Email
  • Alan Wagner, Bayside, WI -- 10
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 12 Email
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 13
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 13 Email
  • Annie Fisher, Philadelphia, PA -- 14
  • Geoff Brown, Farmington Hills, MI -- 15 Email / Website
  • William Gray, San Jose, CA -- 15
  • David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 16 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA -- Topic Email / Website
  • Robert Sullivan, Salem, OR -- Banner Tag
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/moderator Email / Hall of Famer
  • Ted Nugent, Detroit, MI -- Ambience

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