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Compliments of your local Kiwanis Club
December 12, 2001


~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~


Rapper Snoop Dogg is in talks with Cadillac to
issue a line of cars called the "Snoop Deville."


The Top 16 Features of the Snoop Caddy


    1. Genuine Monroe culture shocks

    2. Transmission reads: "P, N, Back This Thang Up, D"

    3. That wrap-around sofa you're sitting on? One big subwoofer.

    4. "If You Can Read This I'm Gonna Put A Cap In Yo Ass" bumper sticker

    5. Anti-profiling feature: the driver's side tinted window has a white driver painted on it.

    6. Snow chains? 24-carat gold, G.!

    7. Built-in Eminem-Hypno-Ray to make any clueless middle-class white dork feel like a real gangsta.

    8. Dashboard warning light alerts you when you're not getting your props.

    9. Iz-air condizzioning

    10. CD storage bin conveniently divided into "Garth Brooks" and "Non-Garth Brooks" sections

    11. No matter where you are, radio finds "A Prairie Home Companion"

    12. Spare defense lawyer in the trunk.

    13. GangStar Weed-Trac system -- gives you the quickest cop-free route to your nearest dealer.

    14. HoJack recovery system

    15. Voice turn signals declare, "Out th' way, punk bitch!" "Out th' way, punk bitch!" "Out th' way, punk bitch!"

      and the Number 1 Feature of the Snoop Caddy...

    16. For those long trips: the "Pee-Diddy"

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!


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Selected from 126 submissions from 49 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA -- 1 (16th #1) Email / Website
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 2, RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 2 Email
  • Joe Desiderio, New York, NY -- 3
  • Andrea Crain, Madison, WI -- 4, 11 Website
  • J. Hutter, San Francisco, CA -- 4, 15
  • Charles Gulledge, Richardson, TX -- 4
  • Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 5 Hall of Famer
  • Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 6, 9 Email
  • Dave Juurlink, Toronto, Ontario, Canada -- 7
  • John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 8
  • Patrick Major, Dallas, OR -- 10 Email
  • Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 11 Email
  • Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA -- 12
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 13, 16, Topic Email / Hall of Famer
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 14 Email
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- Honorable Mention list name Email / Website
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • William DeVaughn, Washington, DC -- Ambience   (explanation)

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