December 4, 2002
Top 15 Lines Edited Out of Dr. Seuss Books
- I do not like them hot or cold,
Those eggs are green because of mold!
- The noise was from little Cindy Lou Who,
Who shot the Grinch dead with her dad's .32.
- And to think that I saw it go down on Eight Mile.
- Actually, "unless" means "unless I get me a posse of Barbaloots in brown barbaloot suits to go medieval on your onceler ass."
- Why did that cop hop on pop?
Isn't this a routine traffic stop?
- "I'll put eyes in the ceiling and ears in the wall,
'Cause a threat is a threat, no matter how small."
- The Cat in the Hat said, "We'll have fun in batches,
And the best fun of all comes from playing with matches!"
- I did not do her, near or far.
Okay, maybe once, with a Cuban cigar.
- Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCave had twenty three sons and she named them all You-Are-Getting-A-Vasectomy-NOW-if-you-EVER-Want-So-Much-As-Another-Whiff,-Mr. McCave?
- The Cat in the Hat didn't coo, didn't purr;
He choked and he coughed till he puked up some fur.
- Would you dangle him from a tree?
Could you from the balcony?
Would you? Could you? Jacko, please?
- I would not, could not with a fox,
Unless she looked like Courteney Cox.
- Poor Arthur Anderson cried and he cried!
"Yes I counted the beans, but I never lied!"
"It's all a mistake!" he would plead, he would say.
But no one believed him, not even Ken Lay!
- Our reason isn't too strange, is it?
Butter-side down toast tastes like shizzit!
and the Number 1 Line Edited Out of Dr. Seuss Books...
- Thanks to the Whos and their friends down at Pfizer,
The Grinch grew not one, two or three -- but *four* sizes!
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runner up submissions for this list.
Selected from 106 submissions from 39 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 1, 13 (10th #1) Email
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 2
- Wayne Kierstead, Clackamas, OR -- 3 (Rookie!)
- Joseph Prisco, Ithaca, NY -- 4 Website
- Brandon Muller, Las Vegas, NV -- 5
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 6 Email / Hall of Famer
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 7 Email
- Chun Ho, Honolulu, HI -- 8
- Carolyn Rosser, Washington, DC -- 9
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 10
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 11
- Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 12 Email / Website
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 14 Email / Hall of Famer
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 15, HM list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- David Hyatt, New York, NY -- Topic Email / Website
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- Runner Up list name
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- John Entwistle, Chiswick, England -- Ambience (explanation)