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December 4, 2002

Top 15 Lines Edited Out of Dr. Seuss Books

    1. I do not like them hot or cold,
      Those eggs are green because of mold!

    2. The noise was from little Cindy Lou Who,
      Who shot the Grinch dead with her dad's .32.

    3. And to think that I saw it go down on Eight Mile.

    4. Actually, "unless" means "unless I get me a posse of Barbaloots in brown barbaloot suits to go medieval on your onceler ass."

    5. Why did that cop hop on pop?
      Isn't this a routine traffic stop?

    6. "I'll put eyes in the ceiling and ears in the wall,
      'Cause a threat is a threat, no matter how small."

    7. The Cat in the Hat said, "We'll have fun in batches,
      And the best fun of all comes from playing with matches!"

    8. I did not do her, near or far.
      Okay, maybe once, with a Cuban cigar.

    9. Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCave had twenty three sons and she named them all You-Are-Getting-A-Vasectomy-NOW-if-you-EVER-Want-So-Much-As-Another-Whiff,-Mr. McCave?

    10. The Cat in the Hat didn't coo, didn't purr;
      He choked and he coughed till he puked up some fur.

    11. Would you dangle him from a tree?
      Could you from the balcony?
      Would you? Could you? Jacko, please?

    12. I would not, could not with a fox,
      Unless she looked like Courteney Cox.

    13. Poor Arthur Anderson cried and he cried!
      "Yes I counted the beans, but I never lied!"
      "It's all a mistake!" he would plead, he would say.
      But no one believed him, not even Ken Lay!

    14. Our reason isn't too strange, is it?
      Butter-side down toast tastes like shizzit!

      and the Number 1 Line Edited Out of Dr. Seuss Books...

    15. Thanks to the Whos and their friends down at Pfizer,
      The Grinch grew not one, two or three -- but *four* sizes!

Join ClubTop5 to check out the
runner up submissions for this list.

Selected from 106 submissions from 39 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 1, 13 (10th #1) Email
  • Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 2
  • Wayne Kierstead, Clackamas, OR -- 3 (Rookie!)
  • Joseph Prisco, Ithaca, NY -- 4 Website
  • Brandon Muller, Las Vegas, NV -- 5
  • Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 6 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 7 Email
  • Chun Ho, Honolulu, HI -- 8
  • Carolyn Rosser, Washington, DC -- 9
  • Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 10
  • Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 11
  • Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 12 Email / Website
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 14 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 15, HM list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • David Hyatt, New York, NY -- Topic Email / Website
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
  • Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- Runner Up list name
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • John Entwistle, Chiswick, England -- Ambience   (explanation)

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