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Happy belated birthday to my sister, Pat! Woo-hoo!!
November 27, 2002


We will be taking the next two days off to celebrate
that most American of holidays, where we dazzle the
world by flaunting our abundance and gorging ourselves
on more food than most sensible people eat in a month.
We'll be back on Monday, a size or two larger.

Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone!

The Top 16 Things TopFive Contributors
Have to Be Thankful For

    1. Auto mechanics who don't ask how the barbecue sauce got into my engine oil.

    2. Suppression of our e-mail addresses means we're not constantly inundated by messages from humor-starved supermodels.

    3. After memorizing those funny hurricane names, I'm always the life of the party!

    4. Despite the revenue hit Chris has taken with the drop in Internet advertising, he still only charges us $2,500 a year to be contributors.

    5. We only need to be half as funny as the Top Ten writers.

    6. If it weren't for TopFive, I would never get laid. Come to think of it, I never get laid anyway, but at least with TopFive, I can hold on to the false hope.

    7. That all the dates from hell I endure will make a great chapter in my eventual VH-1 biography.

    8. At long last, the glorious return of Alf to television!

    9. Soft summer rains, the musical laugh of a child... and Britney Spears getting sluttier by the minute.

    10. With all the valuable skills I'm learning, one day I, too, might become President of the United States.

    11. The Statute of Limitations.

    12. Well, you know that feeling of exhilaration combined with relief that you get when you pop a big fat zit?

    13. Mom's three jobs and arthritis won't stop her from cooking up a 27-course feast and serving it to me on the couch so I don't have to miss any football.

    14. J.Lo took that needy, clingy Ben Affleck off my hands.

    15. Chris always fixes hour spelling, grammer and punctuation so, we dont look stupid.

      and the Number 1 Thing TopFive Contributors Have to Be Thankful For...

    16. I'm thankful that I live in a great nation where I can still disagree with the government without fear of the Homeland Security DepartIPpa*)#^%#8000 NO CARRIER

Join ClubTop5 to check out the
runner up submissions for this list.

Selected from 115 submissions from 43 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Joseph Prisco, Ithaca, NY -- 1 (3rd #1) Website
  • Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia -- 2, 12
  • Dave Juurlink, Toronto, Canada -- 2, 15
  • Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 3 Email / Website
  • Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA -- 4 Hall of Famer
  • Chris Urich, Herkimer, NY -- 5
  • Tom Louderback, Boston, MA -- 6 Email
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 7, 11, 14 (Hat Trick!) Email / Hall of Famer
  • Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 8
  • John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 9 Email / Website
  • Cathie Walker, Victoria, BC, Canada -- 10 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Curtis Matthews, Kennesaw, GA -- 13 Email
  • Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 16
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Topic Email
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- RU list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA -- HM list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- HM list name Email / Website
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • The Fuzz, Corunna, MI -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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