November 6, 2002
The Top 15 Signs Your Pet is a Terrorist
- Fetches your slippers, and then tries to light them.
- He refuses to let you rub his nose in his mistakes, demanding a military tribunal instead.
- You discover little nuclear missiles in the towers of your goldfish's castle.
- He scratches his ear and three car bombs go off on your street.
- After a photo of her toting a gun hits the papers, she insists she was brainwashed by the Siamese Liberation Army.
- You find nine little dynamite vests under Fluffy's bed.
- Constantly wants you to submit tapes of his antics to "Al-Jazeera's Funniest Home Videos."
- Steadfastly refuses to let you trim his trigger claw.
- Sure, tropical fish are usually quiet, but these tropical fish are a little *too* quiet.
- Last year it was a CIA-funded "freedom fighter" -- you do the math.
- The cat starts to tie plastic explosives to itself, but fortunately, always winds up just playing with the string.
- Dog's "sad" eyes are, upon further inspection, actually "shifty" eyes.
- The miniature "chuck wagon" careens merrily across the kitchen floor, stops in front of the refrigerator, then explodes.
- Everywhere you look: Dirty bombs!
and the Number 1 Sign Your Pet is a Terrorist...
- Every time you open his cage, Tweety tries to fly into the side of Barbie's Dream House.
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runner up submissions for this list.
Selected from 90 submissions from 35 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada -- 1 (2nd #1)
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 2 Hall of Famer
- Bob Mader, Knoxville, TN -- 2
- John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 3, 9, 14 (Hat Trick!)
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 3, RU list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Jesse Weiss, Dallas, TX -- 4 Website
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 5 Email / Website
- Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 6
- Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX -- 7
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 8 Email / Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 10 Email / Hall of Famer
- Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 11 Email / Website
- John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 12 Email / Hall of Famer
- Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 13 Email
- Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 15 Email / Website
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Topic Email
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- Banner Tag
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- The Posies, Seattle, WA -- Ambience (explanation)