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Top - 51%, Five - 49%; 286 precincts reporting
November 6, 2002

The Top 15 Signs Your Pet is a Terrorist

    1. Fetches your slippers, and then tries to light them.

    2. He refuses to let you rub his nose in his mistakes, demanding a military tribunal instead.

    3. You discover little nuclear missiles in the towers of your goldfish's castle.

    4. He scratches his ear and three car bombs go off on your street.

    5. After a photo of her toting a gun hits the papers, she insists she was brainwashed by the Siamese Liberation Army.

    6. You find nine little dynamite vests under Fluffy's bed.

    7. Constantly wants you to submit tapes of his antics to "Al-Jazeera's Funniest Home Videos."

    8. Steadfastly refuses to let you trim his trigger claw.

    9. Sure, tropical fish are usually quiet, but these tropical fish are a little *too* quiet.

    10. Last year it was a CIA-funded "freedom fighter" -- you do the math.

    11. The cat starts to tie plastic explosives to itself, but fortunately, always winds up just playing with the string.

    12. Dog's "sad" eyes are, upon further inspection, actually "shifty" eyes.

    13. The miniature "chuck wagon" careens merrily across the kitchen floor, stops in front of the refrigerator, then explodes.

    14. Everywhere you look: Dirty bombs!

      and the Number 1 Sign Your Pet is a Terrorist...

    15. Every time you open his cage, Tweety tries to fly into the side of Barbie's Dream House.

Join ClubTop5 to check out the
runner up submissions for this list.

Selected from 90 submissions from 35 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada -- 1 (2nd #1)
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 2 Hall of Famer
  • Bob Mader, Knoxville, TN -- 2
  • John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 3, 9, 14 (Hat Trick!)
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 3, RU list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Jesse Weiss, Dallas, TX -- 4 Website
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 5 Email / Website
  • Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 6
  • Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX -- 7
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 8 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 10 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 11 Email / Website
  • John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 12 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 13 Email
  • Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 15 Email / Website
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Topic Email
  • Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- Banner Tag
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • The Posies, Seattle, WA -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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