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If it's not TopFive, it's crap.

October 28, 1999


The Top 13 Signs Your Co-worker is About to Go Postal


    1. New pickup line: "You'd be the hostage I kept till the end."

    2. Three straight days wearing his "What Would Charles Bronson Do?" T-shirt.

    3. His new "365 Ways to Go Berserk" desk calendar.

    4. Your fellow librarian starts running after patrons and stamping their faces with the "date due" stamp.

    5. Overheard saying to his manager, "Y2K? Not gonna be an issue, dude."

    6. The company newsletters on his bulletin board have push-pins through everyone's faces.

    7. His molar grinding is actually causing sparks.

    8. He suggests replacing "Casual Day" with "Wear a Bull's-eye T-shirt Day."

    9. Whenever you ask how he's doing, he always says, "Gruntled." Except today.

    10. After pumping the vending machine full of bullets, he removes all the boxes of JuJuBees, caresses each one, and whispers, "You are all my children."

    11. He discreetly shows you the staple gun he's converted to fully automatic.

    12. Right after you click the "Send" button, you hear him mutter, "I swear, the next person who sends me one of those damn Top 5 Lists..."

      and the Number 1 Sign Your Co-worker is About to Go Postal...

    13. He's the only one at work smiling.

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!


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Selected from 134 submissions from 49 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 1 (13th #1) Email / Hall of Famer
  • Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 2
  • Ann Rosenfeld, Austin, TX -- 3 (Rookie!)
  • Patrick Major, Dallas, OR -- 3 Email
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 4
  • LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA -- 5 Hall of Famer
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 5, 13, Honorable Mention list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 6 Email
  • Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 6 Email
  • Martell Stroup, Boston, MA -- 7, 12 Email
  • Lisa Lavoie, Waltham, MA -- 8 Email
  • Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 9 Email
  • Laurie Northrup, Clinton, NY -- 10, Banner Tag Website
  • Mark Levine, Los Angeles, CA -- 11 Email
  • J. Posner, Johnston, IA -- Topic
  • Yoram Puius, Bronx, NY -- Runner Up list name Email
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- List moderator Email / Hall of Famer
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Guns N' Roses, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience

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