Place on a flat surface, shiny side up.
October 27, 1999
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Our friends at the NY Times were tricked into giving
free publicity to a website which supposedly auctions
off the eggs of models to the highest bidders.
The website was actually the brainchild of a man who
has several porn websites online, but the Times
evidently didn't do enough research to uncover that
fact, and instead ran a serious article about the site.
So we here at Top5 decided to provide the good folks
at the Times with material for a follow-up article...
The Top 15 Risks of Buying a Model's Egg
- Upon delivery, you discover the egg contains a pair of pantyhose.
- Thousands of years of evolution shot all to hell.
- Sure, you can *buy* them now -- but you have to wait over 18 years before you can legally have sex with your purchase.
- Health conscious models always removing the yolks first.
- Conception only possible with sperm from an androgynous rock star.
- Baby will insist that umbilical cord be cut only by Vidal Sassoon himself.
- Child Protective Services worker just doesn't appreciate how it can eventually get to you when every time you tell him to take out the trash, he enigmatically whispers, "Obsession."
- Other kids and their vicious taunts: "Don't hate me because I'm sunny-side up!"
- You'll spend a king's ransom for ipecac syrup for the baby.
- The kid grows up to resent you because that willowy frame, those long thin legs and those exquisitely tiny hands kept him off the varsity football team.
- Photo shoot wind machine keeps blowing your boys upstream.
- With your luck, you'll get the egg with recessive supermodel genes and dominant webmaster genes.
- Tough for Mr. Tripp to explain to perfectly-fertile wife, Linda.
- Upside: Your daughter looks like Kathy Ireland! Downside: Your daughter thinks like Kathy Ireland!
and the Number 1 Risk of Buying a Supermodel's Egg...
- Model eggs rebel at the very thought of being inseminated with *your* ugly-ass nerd sperm.
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
Selected from 135 submissions from 49 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 1, HM list name (32nd #1) Email / Hall of Famer
- Martell Stroup, Boston, MA -- 1 (6th #1) Email
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC -- 2, 15 Hall of Famer
- Mitch Berg, Saint Paul, MN -- 2 Email / Website
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 3, RU list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 4 Email
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- 5 Email / Hall of Famer
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 6, 10 Email / Website
- Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 7 Email / Website
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 8
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 9 Hall of Famer
- Jonathan D. Colan, Miami, FL -- 11 Email / Hall of Famer
- Christopher Troise, New York, NY -- 12 Email
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 13 Email
- Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA -- 14 Email
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA -- Topic Email / Hall of Famer
- Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA -- Topic
- Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- Banner Tag (Rookie!)
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- The Fifth Dimension, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience